Be Strong
Stay Strong
For years I have seen you weakened
For years I have longed for you in my life
For years I listened and hoped in your ideas, promises,
only to be hurt time and time
only to trust less and less
only to hope less and less
We blamed all this on him
We kept trying
For years you have seen me hurt
For years you have longed for me in your life
For years you have told me excuses
only to be hurt time and time
only to be trusted less and less
only to be
You blamed all this on him

Now
Now we hope we struggle
I see you getting stronger
We feel
Now we grow stronger and weaker
Now we can no longer blame him
he is powerless or is he?
We struggle
We want
I want you to be STRONG
I want you in our lives
I want what you say to be true
No more excuses
No more lies

But you can’t
You can’t prove I should trust you
You keep trying
But can you trust yourself?
You say I hate him
Really I hate what he has done
I hate all the broken promises
I hate all the selfishness
I hate all the hurt, he has caused you
and because of that I hurt you more
I want to stop hurting you
but I can’t until his power is gone
then I hope I can trust you
my problem not yours

Do you still hope to be in my life
or are we not worth it?
Are you so weak that you can’t hope?
Are we wrong in asking you to be strong?
Are we wrong asking you to stop giving to him?
Are we wrong asking you to not forgive him again?

You have made excuses for him all my life
how does he get to have the trump cards of excuses?
how does he get to hide behind a disease?
When he dies will it end
will there be closure?
Will the circling continue?
Will the anger top?
Will you forgive us
or is that only for him?

Why
Be Strong, Stay strong?
Because maybe if that little bit of strength makes it
Someday there will be
no more excuses-
only time to do what we have been saying we wanted.
Will it be too late?

All my life I have wanted to defend my mother from my father.
I can’t believe that even when Alzheimer’s has entered his house
that when his house is no longer his home
that when he is in a lock down
that when I no longer have to try to reason with him because he can’t
that I still cannot PROTECT my mother from my father.
Please take my father
I want time with my mother.
Please don’t be too late.
There isn’t much left of her to give
- why does he get so much?
Please don’t be late
I want some left for me.
I love you mom.
Be strong
Stay strong