The Deepest of Cuts

A single breath One with no meth Last time, I agree Never, now I see My arms, in the light of the bar Are covered in hundreds of scars Some bottomless and some shallow And my wallet, very hollow From all of the medical supplies I try not to let suspicion arise With the alcohol and butterfly strips As of the little sliver metal chips The last time I tell myself Press the blade down on oneself The lava flows down my arm Onto my sheets, giving harm My mother ironed the hem With the little sharks on them Recall the love, tears a flood And now they’re covered with blood Stained with deep scarlet frown And evil crispy brown A reek that won’t go away Brown forever to stay I got the mattress from my drafted father Who got shot, defeat, by his enemy’s brother Falling to swift casualty in the woods And the notice received on my mother’s hood That park with father, that time Told me he loved the climb We’d gotten some great snow But that was years ago He’s long missing, devoid of a warning Mother’s birthday, now a day for mourning All the letters now on the mantle place Saying he’d be home, together with grace How could I do this, ever? His last gift, forever I’m ruining the vast glee So as to nauseate me He would be so fuming if he knew I would be grounded badly askew But right now I wish he’d say I’m grime Just so I could see him one more time The tears drop off my face, flown Grateful that I was alone Because mother worked late. I grab my arm with such weight As I curse out my scars and the blood The Money gone, could’ paid for the flood Because mom can’t do it alone Yea… that is fitting, I declare grown Yes, not mother, but mom I wipe blood with my palm My blood wrecks those sheets, scoff Hoping I’ll get it doff But with no avail. It’s here to stay So the soft gauze warps my arm in a grey Blanket like a warm cloud hiding the blood And making it stop being a flash flood No more, I am all done No more cuts, and no gun Do it for mom and dad. The phone rings on the pad Coming from mom and she says she will be home soon Grabbing food, I don’t need to cook under this moon I tell her it’s alright; I want to make dinner So I can see her smile again like a winner I can tell her I’m sorry Under this night so starry So I can get well again And break though this metal shackle To leave this pain, my history Wish to rewind back hindmost blind Time to a place of joy, not war Pain I will long for no more.