Dear You, 

i could never blame you for what you did to me,

you were a tumultuous storm

the roar of your thunder sent others in the opposite direction

but not me.

Your autumn eyes sent a sweet breeze through me

captivating me 

and suddenly i was stuck in the whirlwind of you.

Your laugh was once soft like honey 

and your lips tasted of tobacco and burned of passion and desire

but not anymore.

Now i am stuck in agony.

Jaded, withered, and beat

you can't escape me

my body aches for sleep

but your velvet caramel eyes 

haunt me in my dreams.

Purple and blue stain my underyeyes

no longer littered across my neck and chest like I once desired. 

The sear of whiskey replaces

the burn of your lips

both intoxicating

one sweet the other vile 

drowning myself in the poison 

that scorches me like your kisses 

and resembles those conniving eyes

in hope I can forget.

Stuck in a trance

I am no longer in control of my thoughts 

my mind hazy

but I can make out that devilish smirk 

I can hear your hellish laugh,

the bass vibrates through me 

igniting the ember inside me

the amber flame rapidly growing

no amount of liqour can put it out

it eats away at me

no longer being able to submerge

myself into a numbing bliss.

The smoke of the boiling falme

wraps arounf my neck

the way your hands used to 

no longer loving and sensual 

but paralayzing and lethal

leaving my body gelid,

lungs screaming for air 

tears pricking at my eyes 

as they desperatly look around for help

there is no one

i am alone.

I am alone

You left me here alone.

The walls I had build around my heart were made of iron and steel 

but you were persistant 

knocking at my walls everyday 

you made me think you were here to stay

so I let you crack my walls down 

and you made yourself comfortable

playing me like as if I were some type of video game.

you got to know and understand ever version of me

and i foolishly let you.

I was naive 

but you were smarter than me

you knew what game you were playing 

and you played it well

opening yourself up to me 

so i could believe that you would never hurt me

how vacuous of me. 

You stripped me down and left me

Naked

Exposed

Vulnerable 

and i allowed you to do so 

because i loved you 

i love you.

You ruined me 

tarnished me 

poked and prodded 

getting under my skin 

leaving traces of you permanently on me 

so that i could never forget

never erase the damage you did.

So I could never love another the way i did you. 

my heart will learn to ignore the tapping at her walls 

they will build back stronger and sturdier than before

just like me.

Cold and stoic

so no one can hurt me 

so I can protect me. 

It was never your fault, I should have known better.

You warned me, I didn't listen

the only one to blame here is me.

I want to thank you for the experience you gave me,

I am a new person because of you

Thank you.

Always yours,

                             Me