How it Actaully Happened- Goldie Locks and The Three Bears

There once was a cave,

There lived three bears,

A momma, a daddy, and a cub.

They lived happily hunting and hybernating.

Once, they were out hunting.

Then, in the cave came a little girl with the blondest of hair.

She was so hungry she could eat a cow!

Speaking of, she notices a dead cow in the corner.

The bears were storing it for winter.

She started eating the leg, but it was too tough.

She started eating the arm, it was too soft.

Then she ate the rib meat, it was juuuust right.

Now, her belly was full,

So, she wanted to sit,

She found some stones, in which the bears sat in their spare time,

She sat upon the largest stone, it was too hard,

She sat upon the medium stone, it was still too hard. (I mean its a stone)

She then sat upon the smallest stone, it was juuuuust right.

Then, as she made herself comfortable, the stone cracked and broke.

For she had gotten so fat from those ribs.

Now, she took a hard fall, and hurt her leg,

So she wanted to go lay down.

She found some makeshift beds the bears used to sleep on.

One was made of leaves, so she didn't even try laying on that,

She was allergic to nature... (side affects are hallucinations; makes sense)

The next was of sticks, which she was hallucinating by now,

So she thought it was a real bed.

She layed in it, and saw (felt) that it was poking her in unspeakable places.

Then, she came to a bed of straw, she layed in it.

(Again mistaking it for a real bed)

It was juuuuust right.

Then, she slowly drifted off to sleep.

When the bears returned home they all started to roar,

For they can't talk, (I mean, they're bears)

But, their roars were translated to:

Daddy- "Someone has been eating my cow leg"

Momma- "Someone has been eating my cow arm."

Cub- " Someone ate my cow ribs all up."

(Oh, they didn't see her because their eyes were bloodshot from hunting.)

Daddy- "Somehow I just happen to know that,

              Someone has been sitting on my stone!"

Momma- "Same, I just happen to guess someone has been on my stone,

                 Even though, I have no proof!"

Cub- " I have proof, my stone is broken all up,

           Because some fatty sat in it!'

Now they checked out there beds,

Momma- " My straw has been moved,

                 now I have to remake my bed, because someone has been in it!"

Cub- " And someone is in my bed!!!"

Daddy- " Haha suckers, no one has been in my bed!"

So, they continued to roar at the little girl.

She woke up startled, (somehow she slept through them roaring before)

She tried to get up and run, but her leg was hurt,

From her fall from Cub's stone,

The bears would not let her go,

It is in any bears nature to kill anything that interferes with its home,

So, thats what they did,

But, oddly, they felt sorry,

So, they attended her funeral,

But were confused when everyone started to scream.

 

 

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