Mulan once sang of her reflection

And the words wrapped themselves around me

Like a ribbon tripping me at the shin

Not knowing who I could be

 

Gay, trans, lesbian, bi

All these new terms as I enter Middle school

I was so confused and people would make me cry

Letting their words get to me, I was a fool

 

So I held the only friend I had:

A cold, silver blade against my wrist

Numbing my pain and ignoring how sad-

The way my brain was fogged with mist

 

I wore long sleeves, turned down beach trips

Plastered a smile on my face like masquarade

Even when my wrists were full and I moved to my hips

But it wasn't enough to hold this facade

 

I got worse, stopped my fake smiles

The stories I heard of teens killing themselves

Made my heart race for miles

And I stared at the pills on the shelves

 

The night I did it, I'll never forget

I said goodbye to my family before bed

Hugging my mom tightly, my eyes wet

When I took the handful of pills, no tears were shed

 

But then I realized, and it was a shock

I wanted to live and this world i would miss

So I called 911 and they told me to talk

I was so tired, I felt deaths harsh kiss

 

The rest was a blur, but I got better

I was happy, most of my smiles were real

And even when I said "I'm fine." I was sure

My happiness was one thing the darkness wouldn't steal

 

Now I have triggers, but they're alright

I relapse occasionally but I know I'm recovering

For I know my future looks bright

With my education just on my head hovering

 

So now I post this poem to you,

To share my hardships with the world

A scholarship would be nice, too

But helping people makes it worthwhile