My Catharsis...

Born of a minority race

Adorned of comments and nitpicking

You grow a thick skin when subjected to

Adolescent Bullying 

 

Spitting image of an Abuser

Mother couldn’t take it

Flashbacks to days of running

Sounds of yelling and bones breaking

 

In my Father’s Absence,

I’ve had to pick myself up and dust myself off

In my mother’s presence

I’ve held back tears until she was gone

 

Forgive me if I guard myself 

You can’t trust anyone these days

Because the one man who was first supposed to love me

Was the first to walk away

 

My self esteem is depleted

Pack pills for my underlying demons

I host a Chronic Depression

Voices shut out hopeful reasoning

 

My moods are Biploar

In a good scenario, my sanity is within reach

But my rainy days are scattered

Let alone converse , sometimes I’m scared to speak

 

I’m not a lonesome person

I tend to travel with my own company 

Say I smile and laugh 

But I’m Schizophrenic underneath

 

Cherry this on top

Sometimes conscience and voices collide

When words turn to cuts and cuts turn to scars

Scars on my skin that I can’t hide

 

When ears grow weary

And shoulders grow cold

People only care so much

My grievances grow old

 

When your words are singular 

And your thoughts are priceless

Experience is golden

Lessons gained from the mindless

 

Pen and paper that provides release

Marvel at the pains of the artist

Each stroke— a sentence

Every creation—a catharsis

 

Grown from lines on my arms 

To lines on a paper 

From internal damning

To differential prayers

 

Because the words on these pages

These words I’ve spent years writing

Are the lessons life’s taught—

The morals life’s written inside me.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741