Is this my life or college?

The race for finals begins
Everyone around me playful and fun
Although I try, I just can't win
Socially inept and such a dum dum
I wish life could be eaiser
but what fun would that be
stress and anxiety keeping me busier
I wish everyone understands what it's like to be me
I hope for a future but everything I touch is ruined
Life is like a sand castle too close to sea
Like I need to be pruned
Take out the bad in me
I hope you can see the beauty that can be
I feel so scared of the me in my head
I am so behind in every way as you can see
I wish I could pass finals but I'm dying in my head instead
Someone send help
I'm so beyond help
I feel so drained like I'm melted
Then people just pass by and say whelp 
she deserved everything she got
I want to be better, I want to try harder
but I always end up alone, collapsed in sobs