A boy raped me

Told me it was my fault

Whose alter do I run to when he ran through me like a crosswalk

 

My defense

Senseless

Derivative of my fences

Barbedwire to make the top higher

But gaps like it needs a dentist

 

Uprooting dainty flowers with a sharpened ace of spades

His poker face revealing selfish pleasure in his gaze

Amusement that his plot was fruitful to the end

A relish in reliquishment of a decent gentlemen

Aroused like Marilyn violence like Manson a victim like me tightening his pants 

and

Panting in rhythem like the sea

Waves of tears crashing through me

Trapped vessel

Torn sail

Snapped mass

Worn, Frail

No savior from this duress

I retreat inside my cell

 

Retreating to the structures of my mind

But his frame ubiquitous

His face in every reflection

Looming above me saying I did this

 

An audience behind my eyes

Weeping silently his name

He's taking fourth base but

This was not a ballgame

This was just a call game

He took just what he wanted and he got more than I gave

 

There was no desire there

But there was a fire there 

my underwear

Scattered

Like my brain

Only a matter of time before I count the minutes

seconds

Breathing bleeding wreathing warped vision speeding in the box I can't escape

And he's going for a second take

I'm going to die here.

 

I hope you're happy

Is this what you wanted? I ponder outloud

while he laughs taking my virtue departed

I cant breathe

His weight choking me among other things

His hand covering my mouth I'm crying

In laughter because this is what I deserve

And I should take it like a man that takes what he can

As I'm nailed to the bed and I have'nt been wed.