You're close to my touch
But I can't grasp your hand
Because it's already preoccupied
Holding someone else's.
But that doesn't mean
That I should turn my cheek.
Because although your hand is
Preoccupied,
Your focus is on me.
And you're fond of me.
And I'm fond of you.
But it's hard to balance holding back
And giving just enough.
That game always leaves me with questions.
Is this okay?
Does this overstep a boundary?
Have I said too much? Too little?
What do I want from this?
Am I wasting my time?
What about yours?
But let me back track.
What do I want from this?
What do you want from this?
We've discussed our issues with
Something too serious during this point
In our lives.
And commitment doesn't seem to be
The matter because we are committed
In a sense since our focus
Is each other, even without a title.
So why does whatever we have,
Without the promise of more,
Make me feel both really good
And yet a tad uneasy with confusion.
I feel good because I enjoy
You.
Your company,
Your attention,
Your hugs,
Your kisses,
Your sex.
I enjoy sharing
Laughs, smiles, stories.
But I feel uneasy because I know
That underneath the surface
It's not only the fact that this isn't
Going anywhere because of
XYZ,
This isn't going anywhere because at this
Point, while you're heart is also preoccupied,
There's basically no real chance for me.
And it's not at all
That I want to rush you out of your past
But how can I really be all that I am with
You,
When you preoccupied with some other
Girls hand?