They said that recovery was an uphill battle -

I have never before trecked up a twisted slope for so long.

I figured my frustration and fear - of weight, of fat, of feeling bad - 

Would slowly be shed as I hiked up the hilltop.

I openly exposed my demons and inner dimensions 

As I fought for the right to be okay with not being okay.

It is all lies and happy-lust:

I have never been near the freedom I crave.

But all they see is a smile, a simple girl

Who isn't sabotaging the rest of her life,

One day at a time.