Self-reflection

Robbed of a sweet childhood,

you stole my innocence.

I wanted to save you

and you punished me for loving you.

I wanted to take your pain away,

you wanted to intensify my heartache.

 

Is it my fault?

 

Could I have done something different?

 

Will I become you one day? My worst nightmare.

 

Stumbling down stairs.

Endless hospital visits.

Months of waiting for you to return from rehab.

 

It runs in the family and I must break the chain.

The fear creeps in slowly at unpredictable moments.

 

When the sun shines, when flowers bloom, when children laugh.

I could still become an addict. 

When the door slams, when glass shatters, when veins pop in your neck when you scream.

I will always remain strong.

 

I raised myself.

I took care of myself.

I still have love in my heart for others. 

I am amazing.

 

I am in control.

I am not you.

I am everlasting power to be myself, and I will not back down.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
Our world

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