Robbed of a sweet childhood,
you stole my innocence.
I wanted to save you
and you punished me for loving you.
I wanted to take your pain away,
you wanted to intensify my heartache.
Is it my fault?
Could I have done something different?
Will I become you one day? My worst nightmare.
Stumbling down stairs.
Endless hospital visits.
Months of waiting for you to return from rehab.
It runs in the family and I must break the chain.
The fear creeps in slowly at unpredictable moments.
When the sun shines, when flowers bloom, when children laugh.
I could still become an addict.
When the door slams, when glass shatters, when veins pop in your neck when you scream.
I will always remain strong.
I raised myself.
I took care of myself.
I still have love in my heart for others.
I am amazing.
I am in control.
I am not you.
I am everlasting power to be myself, and I will not back down.