A struggle with Ed (my eating disorder) and what it feels like to be trapped in your own mind.

Sun, 09/07/2014 - 10:18 -- aheid5

Location

There's a home in my head

Less of a house, more of a shack

It has me pounding on the walls

Knuckles and plaster start to crack

And as I'm bleeding from my hands

At the hand of your words

I know I bite it, but this fighting's

Got me splitting, its absurd

But I'm sure that I will only be

Realized when the garden hose becomes a noose to me.

 

So I lock myself in my own room

And I curl up on my bed like I'm still in the womb

There's old pills by my bed; I could dig my own tomb

I'd be closer to hell; I'd be closer to you

And the paint peels away to show claw marks on the wall

And my bones start to break as my life starts to fall

I sink into my sheets; They're enveloping me

Like they know that the unconcious is my only release.

 

Well my house starts to burn

From the anger that I've steamed

Flames lick the walls and create ashes

Then they start to burn me

My skin starts to blister, but I still don't disappear

So I scream and I cry, but nobody can hear

No family, no friends, no neighbors except Ed

And he wouldn't ever save me; He already wants me dead.

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