Eating Disorder

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This Kid   I look out the window and see blue sky Picking up bugs and chasing butterflies The days are long with play, naps and laughing This kid is just beginning  
My life changed when I forced puke up my throat When it was 80 degrees and I still wore a coat   When I would starve myself until I couldn't move I was so close to death and had no clue  
Some of you may say I'm a nutter My tongue is smothered with peanut butter Like a newly-shined shoe, no area is left untouched However, this coating should have stayed in my lunch
Stop counting those calories, storm. You look fine. I know, and I've got it under control. Eat your food. You're scaring me. I've got it under control. If you can, try to eat twice a day.
i’ve given up on hating myself it takes too much effort
The dwindling down of supper. Lead me to believe malnutrition was the cause. I drank more water. Forgot my pills. Consumed myself with my work.
i miss having someone to talk to. you make me feel like a poem. it’s subtle, sharp around the edges, but only because it keeps me safe.
She carries three rocks in her pocket One is the peble that lead her to a mountain One is the lump that formed in her throat One is the boulder of silence that sat still in your mouth These rocks are heavy
The person I hate, someone I blame: myself. Devoid of meaning or direction. Moving in circles Blindly searching for the destination. I’m a bookshelf Without books. Incomplete. Lonely.
clenching stomach shaking bones watery eyes runny nose weak knees sore throat all beautiful gifts an addiction   bulimia 
I met a girl once,  whose hair absorbed sunlight and face repelled it. She said she was allergic to daisies and fireworks, armpit fat and turmeric
im not enough for you i dont have a butt i dont have boobs i dont have a skinny waist  i dont eat enough food i dont put enough effort in my looks im not smart enough and i dont read a lot of books
IT GETS BETTER. It seems like such a cliche. Honestly, I know how it sounds, and how those words make you feel: annoyed, devalued, misunderstood. It seems like a lie, it feels impossible,
What am I? a balloon, stretched taut over a fauct and filled til bulging then filled and filled some more Like a teddy bear, stuffed with cotton until the seams burst
I measured each spoonful of Mexican cheese and sprinkled it, like a surgeon, over a bubbling omelette Next was the avocado, sliced in smooth crescents of green because that's the good kind of fat,
the best part of the norovirus is that while it robs you of your breath, leaves you sweat-shaking with hot chills in bed it also steals your appetite finally, to be empty by no willpower of my own
I have always been the small girl. The short girl ,the skinny girl, the I can wrap my fingers around her wrist girl. The eat a cheeseburger girl.
Have you noticed? Have you noticed how I’m chewing gum again? How apples have become my favorite food again? That I can’t sit down because of the bruises again?
I am trapped inside my body the shell of a girl who cries at the thought of breakfast, lunch and dinner or the days when I say "fuck it" and eat how I should just to be punished by someone screaming
Dear ED, How you made me feel like Eve, at the early age of 13. Taking me to the Garden of Eden, just by opening up that one Teen Vogue magazine.
Dear ED, or should I call you by your real name? Anorexia. Oh, how far we go back. I have written this letter in my head hundreds of times to you but I've never had the guts... (Ha! the irony)
Dear Ana, I know, I know I failed, I know I should have done better. I know, I know, I know. I’ll find you one day, I promise. I almost had you, but I let go. I let them take you away from me.
  Dear Eating Disorder,    I loved you, with every inch of my pudgy body.     When I began to lose my mind, you told me to lose         weight.    You held my life together.
Dear Eating Disorder,    I loved you, with every inch of my pudgy body.     When I began to lose my mind, you told me to lose weight.    You held my life together.
to You--   if You look out onto that manhattan skyline and You imagined that You You were God, gliding
to You--   if You look out onto that manhattan skyline and You imagined that You You were God, gliding
I'm tired of your twisted ways, How you've occupied too many of my days, You're cruel, vicious, and like to ruin lives You don't care who dies or survives. I've been in your grasp for eight long years
To a Certain Skeletal Sickness     Dear Ana, you know your devastation on me.   When you take a physical part away, you also steal my soul  
Dear Poetry, Thank you for always being there. I mean, I'd be worried if you ran away from me Black scribbles flying off the page making me double check my prescriptions
Dear Those Who Think My Life is Perfect, I go to sleep at night with one thing on my mind, what if I'm not good enough? What if I wake up tomorrow, and no one likes me anymore?
Roses are red. The numbers are loud as they dance through my head Violets are blue. People want me to eat, but if only they knew Sugar is sweet. Food causes me feelings of pain and defeat
we are monsters together, huddled under the bed of our childhood selves, keeping each other warm when there is nothing to eat but nightmares.
As easily as a pretty girl can go for a jog I can go for the fridge And as easily as a skinny girl can slip into a pair of knee high socks I can slip into depression And as easily as I can stay up until two am
My collorbones like handles poking through my skin The rungs of a ladder to pull me out and set me free And when I pull to climb out of this wretched body I feel instead myself crumble and fold within
Last year I was a skeleton no muscles, just skin and bone. I was pale and sick But the help wasn’t enough. I went to the hospital  heart almost stopped. Moved to Denver 
After years of starving myself to be thin, Rewarding myself when I ate far too little, And forcing myself to vomit if I ate “too much”,   Obsessively counting calories,
having an eating disorder means wanting everyone to know and no one to ask it means accidentally leaving your lunch at home and proudly telling friends no thanks when they offer to share 
they never saw the real me the one i hid away in my closet buried with the things i hid from society tied her up and taped over her mouth so no one would hear her scream   i remember being happy
Tuck in the shirt and tighten the belt, it'll help you look smaller. Tighten the apron. Eat breakfast because it should be the only big meal you have today. I wonder if they think I'm beautiful?
You make sarcastic jokes and laugh a lot, as if we don't know that something is wrong. We watch you fade beneath a  thinning frame. We avert our eyes when your sleeves   fall back.
Everyday girls stand on the scales, and cry. They look in the mirror and cry. They look at themselves, see themselves as fat when they are fading away to skin and bone.  
I try, I really do But it never seems enough It plagues my mind, Day and night The voice just won’t shut up.   I constantly want more But at the same time, want less
I am angry I am angry at the word Society I am angry that people still think Anorexia is just for girls and I am angry at the term "Pro Ana."
Do you want to know what lurks in the deep? Beneath my bare skin and white teeth Sitting deep within the bones Screaming, aching, and groaning. In the endless pit within my mind The voices echoing…
E.D
pain. when you're in pain for much of your day, you'd do anything to rid it away, but you cant. all you do is sleep and pant. when you've given up on such, just to sit in the muck an drown.
America Where they say to be yourself But "yourself" should be beautiful So you make Yourself Only you know you will never compete  With the image on the screen Or the perfect aesthetic squares
The first time I heard of anorexia I was eleven years old. A girl in my class had passed out in the lunch line because she was starving herself. The ironic thing was, She was about to buy an ice cream desert.
Home is a warzone Find broken dreams and venom insults from lovers thrown Like ammunition. For years, fight merely for recognition. Live in deliberate malnutrition.
There are countless lies that all lead to the same destination- a voiceless being imprisoned to a shouting mind. The lie “you are stupid” keeps the shy kid from raising his hand in class.
I feel my heart is racing my mind is constantly chasing yet here I am just spacing desperately embracing rapidly effacing i'm falling and displacing
She's silhouetted against a stark nothing. You can see where the tear rolls down her cheek And the skin clings to her bones as she bends down. She's starving herself. She doesn't realize she's in pain.
look down up not good enough  your thighs too flabby stomach always overstuffed  an apple for lunch see it's not so tough  good don’t you feel better now?   look down 
Golden hair on brown skin--unPalatable. Unfilled eyebrows, sparse as this country's humanity--indolEnt Fierce disease causes cruel brusing on body--compLains she has bed bugs.
You avoid food all day long… Maybe just one slice of pizza. As you chew, the calories accumulate at the bottom of your throat. You’re in public...but it can’t wait.
A year ago today The end of October A happy girl stood on a scale and saw the number had dropped Joy filled her! Soon she had to buy all new jeans because all of hers were to big Size 8! Isn't that great!
One hundred and thirty poundsNot of flesh, or blood, or organs I speakBut of absence, of perfection, of all that I seek
The reflection  wants me to die. The reflection wants me to starve. The Reflection wants to be loved. The Reflection wants to change. The reflection wants to be changed.
My owner wants me to play catch So he keeps throwing his pretty frisbee my way   The frisbee may be pretty, but I want to chase my tail
What? No I want to feel unchained   What? No I want to breathe free   What? No This isn't fair I want to live I want to care   Please don't do this again
silent breaking, day by day against my will, I run away afraid of those I used to trust one breath away from giving up   Hope seems but a vague memory
I mold shapes into  sounds, visions, concepts, phantoms with that intimate touch  of the soul kneading words.    I began with bulky building blocks under the guidence of a sixth grade teacher.
I am 14 and I am sinking to the bathroom floor for the third time this week. I read all the instructions, Filled out all the forms, But still I have fallen behind. I never speak up in class,
It's okay little girl it'll be alright,One day those bullies won't make you cry.It's okay little girl it'll be alright,One day those rumors won't fly in the sky.It's okay little girl it'll be alright,Your mom'll always be there to hold you tight.I
There's this thing called beauty. It's something you were taught when you were youngerand your mother, or your father, or your grandmother would say"you're beautiful."And you believed them.
When I was young I hated the summer Sweat, tight clothes, overflowing out of stiff shorts Sucking in, holding my breath Standing up stiff and straight- I couldn't wait to be underwater Where no one could see me
It started innocently in high school Entering those broad double doors Gazing at the slender and sleek girls Wishing I could be one of them   I was content with what I had Until I got those looks of
Before you date somebody with amental illness, you must rememberthat calling them beautiful willnot adjust their brain's chemicallevels.  Sweet words do not reversesickness that plagues the mind
The need to be skinnyThe hatred of your own bodyThigh gapCollar bonesHip bonesOur society has createdaskinny love.
anorexia and bulimia became my entire life for 4 solid, miserable years. every month i’d stop eatting till they took me to the hospital, then when i got home, i’d do it again. every month i’d drop around 10 pounds, some months i’d drop 20.
1 2 3 4 5 6 at 6 I learned that marriage can't end well and that families can't be happy 7 at 7 I knew things that I shouldn't  have. 7 I wrote stories about death and sex and murder. 
There’s no glamour in it. No flashing lights lighting up the reflection in the tears of her eyes. Just purple circles from sleepless nights
Shrinking wrists grow back Like dread of death after a long remission. Like moons they wax and wane. Full figure dwindlling into nothing into a crescent eerie smile, and I, silent observer,
It eats away at me It is my arms It is my tree trunk legs I can hear my lips smack together I keep eating
Life is... 
“you are what you eat.” an english proverb - if you eat well, you will be well; but if you eat badly you will feel bad. i used to eat icing behind the couch, shovel it into my mouth like the dirt i played with outside. i’m seven and alive, and i...
The more fat-filled shit you shovel in your pie-hole, the less it hurts. Shove it all down your throat until you can hold no more. Feel the warmth of your filled stomach. It expands farther than normal.
I am more than my past.  I am not the things my abuser told me I was. I am strong.  I am not imperfect. I am like a stained glass window, My broken peices make me beautiful.  
Nothing left Pains of hunger Water and gum Leaving No effort "Yes I did" "No I'm lying" Why can't I Live without food Everyday No time left to hope for
This one goes out to all my kids, my teens, my peers All of you who've found yourselves bruised, abused, misused, unable to choose The life you deserve to live; all the while you give, forgive, just try to live
It was a matter of time before I was aware of what was happening But I would agree I was oblivious to the obvious Death was catching up to me   It was a state of denial That the way I operated
The walls were built high High as a skyscraper
A girl of just fourteen Decides to go lean Little by little stop the meals Skip the breakfast Take the heel A moment on the lips A lifetime on the hips A year passes She's underweight
My arms have gotten fat and weak My thighs are soft and plush The weight I gained is in my cheek My stomach feels like mush My former self ws thin and weak Although I thought her strong
  Photos of perfect people #Filter Photos of perfect bodies #Filter Photos of perfect models #Filter I do no think these photos embody the beauty of a sleepy smile, or the yawn of somebody you love
In front of the mirror she stands,The shaking is eminent upon her hands,
I have an addition problem, I must admit. 1 means one more, and 2 is spelled t-e-n. 30 is basically twenty-nine, And anymore feels like shit.   But this is not a decrypting test,
“It’s all in your head.”                                     “Chemical imbalance. You just have to deal with it.”             “You’re just looking for attention.”
The heat escapes your "perfect" body. The bruises on your tailbone green. The hunger pains bring satisfaction. A skeleton too early for Halloween.  
Eyes hold lies Ears hold lies It is not only the mouth that holds lies Whatever you're seeing is wrong, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL Whatever you're hearing is wrong, YOU'RE WORTHY
I stay the same underneath, What my selfie seems to be. Whether on or offline My smile stays the same. I am the player, And Instagram's the game. Underneath the clothes and shining light.
Clean? Clean, clean, clean... clean... one more time... just one more... twice more... thirce more... I swear I'll stop... soap, water scrub, scrub, scrub hot, scaulding 
She may not be the very definition of beauty but her self-restrained chaos unravels all connotations of the word.    She’s more than a number, more than a status. In a world of never ending can’ts, won’ts, shouldn’ts,
Dear Anorexia I hate you ana You runied my life for so many years
I dreamt that I was witnessing a war Not in full action But of its ancient history   Looking at the artifacts of someone else's life Wondering who'd they'd been Where they'd walked
Dreams that compose an ever-so-distant me Wrap around in a cloak of contingency  Mirrored walls guard my heart Deflecting and rejecting all chances of happy
Little girl stood strong and free, With her head held high, And her eye in the sky, But little girl is different from you and me.   Little girl used to run and play, She had friends by her side, No secrets would she hide, But soon little girl began...
I'm being stared down by a bag of peanuts
my body is liquid

You are enough You are enough You are so enough, You have no idea how enough YOU are.  You are the light in my darkness. You are the happiness behind your mom's eyes. 
Can you imagine the frustration The frustration of your own ignorance and complacency But you are made to think that it is everyone else's fault? You can't solve your problem
There's a home in my head Less of a house, more of a shack It has me pounding on the walls Knuckles and plaster start to crack And as I'm bleeding from my hands At the hand of your words
When I was six my grandma said “a second slice of cake? You’re getting so big” Because a six year old wanting more cake is apparently unheard of When I was 13 my brother greeted me with “hey ugly” every time I came home
I see my reflection
I stand in front of my worst enemy, the mirrorI stare at my 5 foot 7 large frame body and I begin to cry
Love thy self they say My self respect was crushed long ago
It feels like stones no matter what I put in The hardness makes my stomach groan in pain The echoing of the fall audible from the outside I can eat old favourites or new worsts but it ends the same
God help me.  Give me a hand.  help me out.  im drowning in your presence, but it is evil that reaches his hand out to help.  to pull me out of these rising waters. 
there are some who will say
Am I worth my weight in gold?
The Other Me   Happiness (adjective) Feeling pleasure or joy It’s the perky energetic kid that has
This area is accepting of so many things Drug addicts, alcoholics;
I know how it feels. To hate the food you put in your mouth. So why not go without? A day? Barely eat anything? Not a problem. Because you can use it.
They don’t teach you not to be small.I’ve been in a million classrooms that teach us not to get too big and make sure we exercise enough.Never have I heard, “Don’t get too small.”
Plaster walls,full of cracksbreaking in.Press my backagainst the door…Falling through the floor.Mirror, mirror that I see,Mirror, dear, do you love me?Hunger bites,claws my skin.
How many cuts and bruises authority figures can ignore For the sake of pretending so it's not on their shoulders; Denying a problem that's clearly there with phrases to cover, such as: Toughen up, don't tattle.
In the mirror is not your reflection, But instead the trader within. She looks at you in disgust, Knowing that she’ll win. Poking at your curves, Pinching at your skin.
I'm not afraid to admit I know nothing at all Even though these memories Just left broken scars I gave you a second chance And you just through it away I gave you everything you wanted
 
They called her names They laughed as she cried They pretended to be friends with her They filled her head with lies   She believed their words She took it to heart
Girl stands alone in her bathroompleading for solace.Eyes lock on the mirror,the reflection of a girl with possibilities a mere stain.She is there,she exists,in every corner that Girl turns.
Today, my math teacher taught us about the emp
I see a familiar looking girl,
Skinny is a six letter word that haunts me at night. Skinny is perfection, at least that's what I've learned. It's skin and bones; no skin to pinch. Fat is a three letter word that I see in the mirror.
Skinny psycho   they call me   but they dont know   I'm falling    With all I have to show   They say I'm too thin   I'm losing too many pounds  
Listen to pretty music
Rumble and TumbleToil and TroubleMy body is hungryIt wishes to be fedBut my mind dejects 
My girlfriends and I were in the gym.I lifted five pound dumbbells. They went on the most intense machinesat the highest speeds.Sweat poured out of their pores
being skinny is society's pretty scale enjoy your ice cream 
All life does is spin and spin. The constant motion, the endless attempts- To be Noticed, To be Felt, To be Alive and Free.
Fitting in with all the rest, There's nothing strange seen by her friends. But they don't see what she seeks to hide - Loneliness fills her up inside, Invisible to waking eye.
  We all knew her before her mind took her under under a spell know one is sure no cure It happened so fast a spiraling of events I imagine the grief they must have in their souls
He told me, "Put down the cigarette,"
She was a poet Like no other Her pencil wrote A simple letter If she's rough The paper tears A moan escapes Of self aware A gruesome dream Filled with tears Time is none
Picture this:There are two mason jars on the counternext to the cash register of your localconvenience store. One says: “Johnnyhas been diagnosed with stage 1 cancer”,and the other says, “Please, help!
This isn't something you ask for, This wasn't something I chose For the monster that tricked me, Was as alluring as a rose. I didn't realize my portions, Began to drastically shrink,
From the very first breath at fresh life she wasn't there. It didn't occur until I relapsed that I was eight when she came back. And they told me to love her even though she left me for the boys.
In fifth gradeI ate rotten meatbecause a ten year oldcannot hate themselves. In sixth grademy dad left for the sixthand the final timeand I started blacking outfrom trying to hunt him down
Look at me. What do you see? Just a girl, Pretty and Skinny and Thin as can be. I get a rush as my anxious fingers feel across my body, and I feel bones,
            She looks up from the porcelain sink to see the reflection of a girl. Her face is drained of color and her lips tremble.
The sun rises, I wake up, the dread sets in. The voices swirl, I push them down deeper, deeper, til they are just a wind blowing back my hair that everyone tells me is so beautiful.
Mocking mirrors here and therealways relishing my despair.Never ceasing in their testimonyuntil I miraculously become bony.
 He used to tell me that I wasn't good enough. He used to hurt me, but on the outside I just played along. I never looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. I put scars on my skin, like he etched on my heart.
Willpower
Everything, everything, everything,
ill
The doctors continuously rave about the improvement I have supposedley made but somewhere deep down inside I am aware that in the end I cant be saved.   To them I have only been
It is not that I love death more, but that I love myself less. This eating disorder is becoming a chore. It is something lodged in my chest. It's not that I love food less,
I can feel it returning, slowly working its way back into my system; the depression.  
ED
Shes controled by a skinny waist, a empty stomach and an acid taste. Sit back and watch closly, as that beautiful soul goes to waste. Keep up with the fast pase, another skipped lunch and a hunch to move paranoia in it's place.
  my path is a well-worn one
The Monster was ruthless lied didnt care                 or did it? it said it did said it was my friend               my only friend said my family hated me
Some people don’t know that there is a pain that never ends.
  Chains Chains clinking metal frozen wrists bound reaching for freedom no key to set me free or strength to uncuff
  Chains Chains clinking metal frozen wrists bound reaching for freedom no key to set me free or strength to uncuff
Forever engaged to silence  getting through day by day smiling and laughing  pretending your okay "Im fine" or my favorite "I already ate" she pretended to happy  but all that was fake
The butterflies swarm inside my head,My mind decides to tell them everything I've said.Fluttering, moving, spacing out,They come from all directions to have no doubts.Peaking and peering inside my mind,
I try to focus Be the student you all want But bad thoughts corrupt 
Hips, ribs, and collar bones; Never hurt by sticks or stones. Words made you this way. "I can't stand myself!" you say.   You think they're right, You think you're wrong. "Keep it up,"
  There are just something you cannot fix Trust me, I know I used to write letters to a girl who had slits on her wrist To say the least, she was sadistic She was sad and had a sickness
She'll tell you: You're ugly and fat. and guess what- You'll always believe her.
Make a slice on each armDon't worry it won't do much harmSkips a few mealsIt's not that big of a deal Take a bottle of pillsAnd watch your body lye stillPut a bullet in your headAnd watch the blood pool on the bed
Count the calories, count the pounds, the less you have the smaller you are. Collarbones, tiny waist, beauty is deeper than just your flesh. Struggling with yourself, fighting the demons in your mind.
Follow me my dearest one Allow me to show the way to perfection. Lay your head in my hands For I’m about to give an explanation.   You are fat my love. A waste of total and complete space
Raident little girls          living in galaxies                   where mud is melted rainbows                                                                turn in to
curled up i sat in a bleached hospital bed frightened like never before listening to the doctor  tell a nine year old girl that she had
Just one more one more bite Just one more one more bite and one more and one more   NO more Stop it! I can't hold anymore!  Let me be!   
I look in the mirror and what do I see?  The beautiful girl God created me to be.  But just wait a second, it wasn’t always that way.  Rewind 16 years, and that’s not what I would say.  As just a little girl, I grew up in a crazy world.  My parent
Sadness took over my body, Seeping down into my bones,  I spent nights uncontrollably sobbing, Feeling completely alone.  The sadness overpowered me,  To the point where I couldn't leave my bed, 
I almost made it through the year unscathed.Life's funny that way.Had me thinking things were all good,but the impending stormknew better.
Ribcage Open your ribcage To try and see the thing inside That threatens to drag you under   The hunger causes it It eats away at you Gives you dead eyes And fuzzy thoughts  
My secret is worthy. To be guarded like the keep of one-hundred dragons. It lies inside a rotted chest, crueal and wicked and warped though I mean to hide it well beneath its translucent wood. What must be kept I cannot keep.
I get angry at my body for what's living in my headif I could flee my form I'd do it, and live in my soul insteadmy body has its wants, but my soul has its needs,and what my body wants leaves my disgusted soul to bleed
  Your words taste like caramel in my mouth. But words of wisdom do not exist. Those who think the dangerous thoughts That if, Dribbled out, Would indeed disturb the universe
Society has millions of images designed to represent beauty Yet not one of those images are similar to me. There are thousands of different body shapes and sizes Maybe that's why I struggle when looking for clothes.
Starving my body, starving my soulI cannot tell what is my goalEat that today, eat nothing tomorrowMy mother's scale I might have to borrowCheck my weight, look towards the groundOh my God, I gained a pound
I drape over her body:shrunkencoldsevere.The cavernous spaces,like trenchesrunning downthe sides,welcome me tofilltheir voids.Like snow,I blanket her geography.
As one who speaks from experience I can tell you these things.  
End
Heavy breathing. Wrists bleeding. Mind freeing. Heart releasing. Eyes tearing. Body collapsing. Life ending.
  Everyone around me speaks casually Of diets and calories And bad metabolisms I will sit And keep my mouth shut And bite back tears As images of perfection
Skipping meals to get thinner than the pill I'm ingesting. Pills I'm ingesting to prevent dry heaving are the only thing I swallow cause it's nothing like eating. Once your skinny they can tell you how fat you used to be.
Ana and Mia Sitting in a tree And what do you know Along comes Me They trick my mind So I see them as beautiful And who would’ve thought I began to fall in love I fall fast
“Them”,” us”. “Us”, “we”. By “them” I mean “us”, and by “us” I mean me. But I also mean “them”. Them, us. We, me. The mentally ill that we be.
Her mirror belongs in a carnival, a wrong distorted image of what she looks like. She'll try to bend herself to make that reflection look perfect. Cut down what is eaten until it resembles the remnants of a forest.
We are the misfits. Some of us have learning disabilities. Some of us have social problems. Some of us have been abused. Some of us have depression. Some of us are sick. We are the misfits.
I sit on the floor as I cry I wonder why is this happening I don't want a new "mom" or "dad" My foster parents say they love me I think I love them too How can I love these people
Smiling when you feel like crying Laughing when you feel like dying Loving when you feel like hating Apologizing when you've done nothing wrong It's always the same thing Like a repetitive song
Looking at her plate Glancing at her thighs No thanks, she says Waiting to be perfect, or what she thinks is perfect.
Her scars were fading out. The red lines in her skin disappearing. Her skirts never came out, and her hoodies were worn in the summer. Bracelets hugged her wrists and no one thought to check.
I force down another bite Pack on another pound My friends push me to the edge “You’re pretty, but much to skinny.” So I eat and eat and eat Not because I’m hungry But ashamed of what I’ve become
I am powerless. Powerless to help you. To save you. But you say you don’t want to be saved. Is it because of the power? The power that controls you in that moment? When the edge cuts and the blood flows
He is a boy who will never give smiles, Save those for the blood on bathroom tiles, A pallid gaunt face with stars in its eyes, Leaving their tracks whenever he cries, He does not eat, beauty is thin,
My individuality is Locked in a little box. My insane attempts to maintain a higher status-quo Shoot me and throw me down a fiery hole. What the heck am I saying?! I’m surrounded by family and central heating in
Staring into the mirror, a sob escapes from my lips. A monster glares back at me, eyes daunting, laughing at such pain. Seeing a distorted image, one of disgust and fat. Skin clinging to bone,
Always smiling, never does she have a frown Through the good times, and the bad She stands tall and strong It seems like nothing can break her, nothing at all But look deeper, look into her eyes
Have you ever thought? The girl you called fat today in the hallway. She is starving herself. Even though her ribs show and she cans see the bones in her arms. She starves herself.
Shingles she had accounted sitting for twenty-five Holding onto nothing while her ornaments eat the dust Frost-bitten frigid air whistling on the field Storm-beaten rails singing water-songs -
At the age of 1, I couldn't remember much. I just knew, that when I turned 5 I had to be tough. I told the teachers,I swear I did I told them everytime I got hit in the head.
I fled crime scene no turning back not even glance Remembering myself when given a second chance My body, mind and soul was laid out on the floor Then I realized this is not exactly what I wished for
I didn’t come here to script up a silly rhyme, Putting together letters of the alphabet and creating a story produced on my own time. I came to speak you a lullaby with all the fixings of my broken past I was a little girl.
Choking on saliva, Pinching at skin, Praying it will all one day Work out and never have to Look in the crystal pool With a sorrow unmatched By the saddest of songs.
I needed a friend... Someone Who would always be there for me Comfort To keep me safe and secure Courage To do what I wanted to with my life Happiness That my body could not contain ...
I never wanna be a statistic.
You hold my tired hand Your bright eyes crinkle into that widespread smile Your thumb traces the tired lines of my palm I do not know what our future holds After all, we're seventeen
Mirror, mirror, on the wall Who's the fairest of them all? She who's tall and she who's thin, She who gets a workout in She whose thighs are far apart, She who has an ice cold heart.
Recovery is a process and not an event It's a struggle not to win but to find some common sense We're stuck in a world where failure is wrong Well, failure is a puzzle piece that completes our song
You know that thing? The thing that nobody talks about? Making yourself puke? Yeah I do that It hurts It burns It destroys your teeth But what they forget to tell you In health class
Recovery Is Possible That's what they keep telling me I don't know how to believe it When I've had this eating disorder For almost a decade But I know I'm sick of it I'm sick of the being sick
That's what someone called me yesterday I was just walking Alone In the hallway at school And the girl The blonde one With the long, slender legs And the flat stomach
Ana
Ana Anorexia Anorexia nervosa Ana My friend My best, closest friend You're there for me When I need you You whip me into shape You love me I can tell you do
The thing about ED is He never leaves you Through the good The bad The ugly He's there A little wasp Following you around Stinging you Every time you reach out
I eat for the wellbeing of my body For my blood pressure And my heart palpitations And my hyperinsulinemia (whatever that means). I eat for the wellbeing of my body For my teeth And my bones
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