To my Teachers:I am the student who "changed"The "bad influence" in your class,The "lazy" student,The one who never does their workAnd just puts their head down on the table In reality, I'm just depressed and stressedand awaiting the "future" I may or may not haveTo protect myself I became apathetic. Apathy-Lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concernLost interest in things I once loved Craving what I once was, I sit here in this roomFull of students eager to learnI once was that ‘A’ studentEager to learn anythingCould understand just about everythingCould master every lessonCarefully listened to every lectureCompleted assignments in no time, Waiting for more. I sit here with this instrumentIn my lapReady to play a beautiful soundNow all I play is grotesque sounds,Revoltingly out of tune notesLook at me now and you’d never believeThat I was that girl who sat in first chairOr had beautiful hair I sit hereIn art class,With a paintbrush and awaiting canvasWith roadblocks in my head Paint drippingTears falling I lay hereOn my mom’s couchWaiting for my mom to come homeTo express how much of a disappointment I amTo express how useless I amTo express how I’d never get anywhere in lifeTo express that Music and Art aren’t “real careers”To tell me to grow upAnd become like the “rest of us”“Put on a suit and tie,” she said“Have a ‘normal’ career,” she said“Perhaps a doctor, lawyer, or engineer,” she said I hear these words every daySlowly driven awayFrom the things, I once loved.
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