He called me a hopeless romantic.
He said that I was naïve for wanting someone to love me like the sun loves the moon,
And he turned up his nose when I said that I wanted kisses like the stars because they are
beautiful and plenty,
I was a silly girl to him, a ditzy princess with crazy estrogen driven dreams
Of having my prince charming ride in on his magnificent steed to save me from the evil dragon,
But my dreams weren’t crazy.
I just asked to be loved, no more no less,
But eventually, I grew the hell up,
And I got tired of waiting for prince charming,
And he saw the shift in me,
And he asked if it was because the only boy to ever get me flowers stopped talking to me,
Or if it was because the first boy I ever cared for broke my heart,
And he laughed saying that I would fall in love with any boy who ever made the mistake of calling
And then one day after his Rosaline broke his heart, he called me beautiful,
And he said that I was the most perfect girl in the world,
And at one point he told me that he loved me,
And then he cried to me on a rainy Sunday evening when I said that I did not love him back,
And that I was cold for playing with the feelings he told me that he did not have.
I wanted to feel bad, but he told me that I would fall in love with any boy who called me
And I proved him wrong.
I loved him, but I was never in love with him
Even though I pretended to be in my mind,
But sometimes I wonder if I was.
And I knew I wasn’t when he tried to bring me flowers in May,
And I told him that I’d just let them sit in the rain
Because I know that he never truly loved me,
He loved the idea of someone loving him,
And when I brought it up his nose twitched like it does when his subconscious knows I’m right,
And part of me loathes him
Because in my heart of hearts, I fear that he is right,
And that I am naïve for wanting the sun and moon,
That I have “silly girl dreams even though my heart is cold”,
And I abhor that he said my heart was cold
Because I supposedly toyed with the emotions he said he didn’t have.
No, he never loved me,
And his passive aggressiveness suggests that he’s made that I beat him at his own game,
But I didn’t want his supposed undying love,
I wanted someone to love me like the sun loves the moon,
And I wanted kisses like the stars in the sky
Because they are beautiful and plenty.