time goes drip drip drip

like molasses out of a faucet

slowly, slowly, it passes me by

burying me, swallowing me

I move slow, I think slow, I am slow

I am a turtle, adrift at sea, safe in my shell of apathy

I eat, I sleep, I float

I don’t think, I don’t care, I don’t exist, not really

If I don’t exist I don’t hurt, nothing can hurt

until

I am

I am a person

I exist, I feel, I hurt

and I just want to go back to being nothing

is this adulthood, is this being real? 

I’m not sure I like it

why did no one tell me life is pain