NOTE: Before I continue, I want to infom my audience that my poem was written after seeing my father for the first time in 9 years...
1. What was you thinking? Or better yet, What was you drinking?
Cause that Hennessy in your hand is what got you sinking.
To the valley of the shadow of death
While I'm stressed, depressed and upset that I could never aquired you request.
2. What happened? What happened to you never telling me that I have 2 older brothers?
One happily married with 2 healthy kids living strong,
And one deadbeat that's been in jail for who knows how long.
3. Wow... 17 years... well it is for me. But its been 9 years for you...
Well, I'm sorry sir but your fatherly application is long overdue.
You've been out the game my whole life and now you're tryna have a comeback?
So you can impact your hunchback
And piggyback off the success off the success my mom has created out of me?
And then what? Rollback under the rock you came from?
That place where I starved and got bullied by my so called "brother" and "sister"
That you wanted me to call home?
That place I'm suppose to call home even though
They was tramataized and I was criticized
Because I was the only one with a darker skin tone?
4. How? How you gone have 5 kids, 4 baby mamas and another grandchild on the way by your 18 year old daughter
But you only choose to take care of 2.
While you think the "only" choice you have with your other 3-
I mean 4 kids is to screw-
Over my discomposure bacause you wanted to pushover your responsibilities instead of taking over
Speaking of resposibilities, 5.
When are you gonna be a MAN and face your responsibilities like the MAN you say you are?
Or... NEVER WAS...
But you WISH to be.
Irresponsibly, inexcusably, disppointing
And irreparably also defined as my heart as it shatters to pieces
because you are now defined as a deadbeat father.
It shatters to pieces because I know the speeches will always be something you'll never understand.
Or ban my high and offensive vocabulary
because it's too much for your undergraduate brain to accept so you hide behind these walls.
Which is the same wall you've been hiding behind these past 17 years.
Well for me it is... but it's been 9 years for you...
6. 17 years of pain you caused me and my mother
But as life goes on we learned to wear masks that is hardcover.
So our mental and emotional pain remains undiscovered.
17 years of your so called "love"
that wasn't even there since I came out the womb
As you assume that I was gonna be your
"Daddy's Little Girl"
The "daddy's little girl" you didn't have
...Or could've had...
I raise my white flag because of you dad.
I quit. I surrender.
Keep in mind I'm not your "daddy's little girl"
7. You killed me slowly and softly,
But I will remain strong.
Yes I am a strong, young, black woman,
Don't get me wrong.
8. I don't want to be held at gunpoint
by your false actions anymore.
I'm tired of being the red-headed step child,
who's always being ignored.
9. People say I got issues because of you.
So that's why I'm reading this scripture,
so these people can acknowledge that I never had a father figure.
10. Until you learn to be a man in my face,
All I can say is that I proved my point,
and I rest my case.