Going mad

Location

i look at this blank page; or
I I try to see bend the words
Flowing from my own pen
I look and I won't see the the truth in the words I write-
I will look and I won't see that my mind is in a fight
That I cave in on myself in the end
That I have lost a friend
Not quickly but slowly since the day I said "nevermore"
I'm Nauseous now that I relize the truth in my words- writing as the victim when I attacked
So I'm looking beyond the lies I write
I've realized I am going down;
No one will save me...
I can't save myself...
Walled in by my self pitty...I neve saw the hurt I caused...
I've relized that I needed no! Wanted so much because of what I am
I'm the monster in my dreams
I'm te one who did this to me
Now I stare at a new blank page
Seeing nothing Seemed to show a hint of good to me "I'm nothing I think... Nothing but evil no-good"
But in the corner of my madness
I saw my one drive that made me not so evil the drive that drove my decisions
My fears the illratonal child like side of me
I'm scared spiders people emptiness pain ... Myself
I fear and sometimes I feel that is all that keeps me human and will keep me from going mad

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