You brought me into the world,

So gracefully,

You told me you were actually supping soup,

Happily.

The connection I had with you,

Very closely,

So safe I felt,

Much security.

The laughter, the music,

Very happy,

No lottery win could ever replace,

Internal, joyfully.

So cherishing to be holding hands, 

Blissfully,

Nightmare began,

Some times you disappeared, horribly.

Later hospital visits a many,

Diagnosis unrecognisable to me. 

Silence within the family,

Only added to this great mystery.

Painfully watched you slide into the abyss,

Where is mummy?.

Nervous breakdowns a many, preying to a lord that didn't help,

Life becoming very shitty.

Over the final 3 years you became a stranger, 

This was crazy,

Was so young,

No-one explained to me.

Difficult to remember,

Mental illness, split personality,

This illness took a vice like grip over you,

So readily.

Sadly you chose your own exit,

Suicide, a one way journey,

A high speed train,

Cutting life short for thee.

How would I ever cope with this monumental strain,

Engulfing all of me,

Only time would tell,

How impossible this would be.

 Oh how I wish I was still holding hands,

Being so happy,

Looking up to you

This thought has just become heavenly.

RIP Mum x