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I told you no. I was already in control. Smoked a little grass here and there, and when that pain came I didn't think it was something I couldnt bear. I told you no.
I can walk into an all-you-can-eat buffet, and my brain will light up like a gambling addict's. Numbers running in my brain, neon signs floating above plates counting fat and carbs and sugar,
I thought you were doing fine, I didn’t know what was wrong, I thought you'd push through it, that you were invincibly strong, As a friend I should have supported you, helped you along the way,
Oh Darth Vader Pez dispenserLying empty on a deskNo more small candies to giveYou smile coyly up at meWishing to be refilledTo be useful yet againSadly I have none to give youBut you served me well
Every morning when I awake A glass in one hand, a small paradise marking my fate the paradise in my other palm The yellow oblong world seems to shrink when looked upon I splash the water into my soul,
Drowsiness creeping into my eyes Reaching up. Pulling my eyelids down like curtains. Blocking out the light. Mind plummeting into darkness. Hands growing weak. Unable to fight anymore.
Words such as herion and addiction, not often would you assume stem from a prescription. We curse the dealers flipping dime bags to survive yet we assume doctors only intent is to save lives.
I wake up and my body is clay Cetrizine to empty my nose. Alprazolam to empty my head. Caffeine to make my blood run. Nicotine to make me look calm. I wake up
I've seen my mother cry twice-once when my dog died, and once when I tried to.
We walked around with you in our halls Always thought you were beautiful Always thought you were fine I guess it was a lie
You have made me a time traveler I came to you a steely kid with a hunger for danger that refused to oblige me But you did, filling my purse with pills that promised me nothing And yet I thought they did
Lights and cameras, diamons and drinks
In the begining,
So many visits So many pills Theyre supposed to make me better but only make me more ill A pill for my depression A pill for the rage A new pill added each year As I progress in age
what does one write when ones mind is white, when the screen is blank and the words aren't right? what can one say at the end of the day when the scars fade metallic
There once was a girl who would wall
I pop Xanax like it's candy, Because the doctors told me to keep it handy.
You say you’ll try it once
They gave me these pills They want me to change I'm scared to be happy I'm afraid to be sane
Minds are crippled from the so called cure. The doctor says "here take this" now people are passed out on the floor. Your friends think its fun to take, your parents think skipping doses might be a fatal mistake.
Mother of mine The all being one to me for twelve years With the messy hair and even messier brain With the laugh that could infect an entire room With the painter's hands and explorer's eyes
Maybe you fall down sometimes Maybe the voices speak up again Maybe you get lost easily Maybe you don’t have to have everything figured out Maybe… Maybe some days are harder than others
narcotics and razors cannot block these bullets that explode through my chest every time i think of our last kiss
I thought it would be cleaner in here That makes sense, right? Perfectionists and all that It should be neat lined shelves, glass, platinum It's not
I just want to give up
he askes simply "why the narcotics?sleeping pills are sketchy man..." i guess i know... but one pill equals a good nights sleep plus two equals spinning rooms
I would kill for a pill that would make me feel, So happy inside, Fill me with pride and confidence, If someone offered it to me, I'd happily agree to take it with me,
Earning the blessing to be a pharmaceutical scientist…that is probably one of the most selfless things conceivable to me.Every day on the job will be an effort to eradicate disease.Tuition,SAT,GPA,SSL hours?
Welcome all to what I call my imagination, quite a unique thing let it fill you with facsination. But there comes a price to this talent you see, care to take a guess or let me show you what I mean?
Pills,Pills,Pills,A pill for all your ills,Pills,Pills,Pills,A pill for all your feels,Pills,Pills,Pills,For broken bones and broken homes,
Pill bottles spread out across the floor Bagged and marked, four hours more Anxiety, Nausea, the list goes on Moments of personality quickly gone Infection spreads when treatment fails,
Eating dog food,
We inherited our fathers hatred letting his words tattoo into our brains and flow onto our tongues every time we were bombarded with something new these words fell from our lips
Ha, my mind is a mess take away my struggle and relieve my stress cause this unhealthy relationship isn't at it's best. Full me with drugs and lets peek at whats next.
The dependency comes with a tendency for me to come back to you,
I want to dieI want to turn away away and say goodbye There is just to much painI can barely stay in my own laneI'm falling apartI hurt in my whole body, especially in my heartI'm going to end it allI may step a little far over the edge and just f
Make a slice on each armDon't worry it won't do much harmSkips a few mealsIt's not that big of a deal Take a bottle of pillsAnd watch your body lye stillPut a bullet in your headAnd watch the blood pool on the bed
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t Been so desperate on that Monday afternoon Searching for relief just a little too soon Red round songs Calling from the back of the cabinet Loose tethered ties
Mother me? Can’t I be something other than thee? Can’t my branches grow? Ever which way to and fro? And be as beautiful as long Hair?
I stacked them up as tall as the sky Which may sound like very high Though really it was just a lie, Probably because I was small in size. My mother brought them home each month,
Alocohol, Caffine, and NicotineSkipped AD’s, hellish dreams Sex, drugs, out of bowlsOCD, no control Depression and anxietyMind held captive, life lived free
She wore red velvet; redder than velvet was her heart. Gone were the nights of regret, she learned to cope with it. She wore black leather; blacker than leather was her hair.
The tears were streaming down my face, happy thoughts I could not retrace. I stare up at my computer screen, social media can be so mean. I type my goodbyes
10pm: She sits outside. Let's the rain fall down just to hide her tears and wash away pain and blood. 2am:
They say that I'm ill.
Johnny was a walking pill, All to better his sad will. White and bitter, A mean critter, Till his pills came to a still.
What is it like, being pretty, feeling special? what is it like to have someone who would go all ends of the world for you? what is it like to sleep every night?
Pain throughout my body, Legs, back and feet. Oh god this hurts, what did I do? Nothing works, Not heat nor ice, pills or massage. Sigh, just let this suff'ring end.
Mind in pieces; never in peace She can only breathe Silence is a virtue Since inside her mind There are screams Avalanches fall like dominoes She is the only one who knows
One..Two...Three... Four... Five.. Six.. Seven... Eight... Nine... Ten... Eleven.. Twelve.. Thirteen...Fourteen ... Fifth teen....debt. In a haze i lay, my eyes filled much with a glaze. The surroundings fade and life slips away.
I’ve found my new addiction, these pretty little pills. I line them up and sort them, taking them by will. Each pill holds a meaning of it’s own, memories of the past will soon feel like home.