'eating disorders' 'mental illness'

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When people ask what I eat My heart begins to beat I hid my grin behind my lips As I lie between my teeth
I like the way I look in the mirror without my glasses on a blurry figure with less imperfections   It’s funny how the illusion comes
I like the way I look in the mirror without my glasses on a blurry figure with less imperfections   It’s funny how the illusion comes
An apology Letter to My Body   Dear body, I am sorry  For once hating your small Asian eyes And your mildly yellow skin color because everyone around you was white
When he enters, You don't hear it at first. Because why would you think to listen? He watches from the curvature Your house in the valley between hemispheres. Man, beast, disease,
Open the door Get on my knees  Lean over the toilet Make a peace sign And shove it down my throat    It will sting
On that night, the night when I realized Everything was a waste and I’m not worth my own time. Had you been there only for a moment Just for me to beg you to go
I remember when it first happened, it was 7th grade science class. You never really forget the first time. I was minding my own business working on homework when he said it. "You're fat."
Panic is a bathroom sink, Grime-covered and overflowing, Tearing the skin off my hands With its vicious heat splashing, Burning cold through spilled ink.  
the poison of your words has done nothing but strengthen my stomach, the muscles taut beneath the skin. the powder on my tongue from the pills worth the retching and trembling bones,
Designed by you,  Assembled in America. Can you make the cut?   Okay, you’ve read the magazine. We’re not saying you have a beer belly
Designed by you,  Assembled in America. Can you make the cut?   Okay, you’ve read the magazine. We’re not saying you have a beer belly
Skipping meals, once again how does this happen, how is this a trend? it isn't trendy to starve oneself yet here I am
So here I am Sitting on the same pink carpeted floor since age 6 It’s gotten much dirtier and more grody since then And fitting enough, I feel the same Tonight was a horror night
Tears running down her cheek as she sits curled up in her room, pleading, praying “Dear God will this be over soon?” This isn’t the first time, nor the last
Keep your hair and clothes looking orderly. 
When my whole life gets turned upside down you are the one that i turn to  the one that i think i can handle You have been in and out of my life for awhile
My stomach is growling, My head is pounding, My breath is shaky; But it is satisfying.   My stomach is slimming, My thigh gap is showing, My face is thinning, But it is satisfying.
Once again I find myself Staring at a Body that I  Don't know.  What happened to The dreams of  looking like your thinspo? Or being someone else's?
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