eatingdisorder

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I slid to the floor of this solitary place, surrounded by hastily scribbled memos on monochrome sheets of paper. and cannot find a singular one addressed to my former self;
From the time you are born to the moment you die, You’re stuck inside of your body, And the mere thought of that used to make me cry. Why do I look like this? Oh God, I hate myself,
I have lost weight since I was in fifth grade and I know this because I have tracked my weight, watching it go up and down, like a child on a Carousel. I am only a freshman in High School,
Am I pretty now? You told me I need makeup, You can hardly tell it is me anymore, Am I pretty now? You said I needed to lose some weight, Well i have, now I'm anorexic, Am I pretty now?
She DEFILED herself!  Body pains, sunken eyes, flaky, sore, bleeding lips and her body as cold as ice. She chugged the water to silence the rumbling of her stomach as she walked out the door. She gave all the right answers and was
Bones poking potruding, prodding pride? how does this belong looking in the mirror I feel disgust but not from the bones from the skin how can i not see the horror
What is my purpose in this world? To take up space, to be a filler in an empty place. The idea of existence has always been confusing, Am I here to succeed? Or will I end up losing?
Run
Your breathing is ragged. Your lungs are on fire. Your body is exhausted, but you continue.
FAT, TUBBY, BIG, CHUBBY, SLOPPY, GROSS, SMELLY All depictions of a full woman portrayed upon the television of society Blinded by our true beauty, so let me regulate for a moment
He keeps saying he will change But it seems to worsen everyday There’s nothing else to do but pray.   He comes home drunk
She was beauty her curves were delicious the way her clothes stuck to her skin whispering to them She walked with a dropped head she didn't know every step she took She left the room breathless
  I am lost I am a little girl named Alice Trying to find my way back up the rabbit hole   The Rabbit, Instead of telling me the time He reminds me not to eat  
I wish my heart That beats off rhythm Was enough to make you stay
Mistakes, Baby I'm flawless. What you want me to be ashamed of, Baby I flaunt it. You talk and laugh about the way I look, But don't understand that my ego can't be shook.
When you're a child
Maybe I give up too easily
Counting the calories, Secretly loving each bite, Is being skinny Worth all this fight? Seeing your hipbones? Collarbones too? Searching for a thigh gap, even though there's so much "you"?
It hit me one night on tumblr a blog i stumbled upon with a bio that sounded a LOT like my old best friend we never fell out our friendship never ended
We are the Ones. The beaten, the broken, the abused.   We are the Silent. Bearing our agony with closed mouths. The quiet, the strong, the mute. We are the Patient.
Her single constants Of which I was graced; A slender frown  and withering waist.  
I crept through the halls; head down, bones protruding from my flesh; admiring those who have not been consumed by this angst I had burning inside of me.   For years, I hid behind glasses of water
She was the fat girl her whole entire life, Then one day she decided to eat right. She didn't see results as fast as she had hoped, So she stuck her finger down her throat and poked.
When will my body ever be good enough?
Standing in the front of the mirror, I hear someone murmur, "The problem with bones is that they are hidden beneath all my fat." The real problem with bones is that they have become symbols.
I count my ribs, one 
Please eat... I hear their silent plea. Eyes look at me carefully. I smile gracefully but can't tame the voice inside of me. "No thanks. I'll have coffee." Can't they leave me be? Getting thin has a fee but I'm not scared. Can't they see?
One time I came home from a ni
One time I came home from a ni
Deception and dupery blended w
They were singing in the pagod
Christmas trees being cut down
The only sweater that I ever l
9 Years. Nine years of life lived from a toilet bowl Watching myself fade into virtual nothingness While people praised my virtual body Pieced together from years of purging in toilet stalls.
Why is it that mankind can never truly find happiness? It can be grasped for brief moments in time before it disappears once
You came to me, like a snowflake falling from the sky, drifting until you found your way. Your smile was like a fire, it sparked in me and made me want to ignite it everyday.
I am quietbecause were I to open my mouthand let out the sugardemonscrouching behind my teeth,they would make you cry.I am tiredbecause were I to stay awakefor an hour or so more
Counselor: How bout we start by you telling be about yourself ME:  *sigh* So where do it start?
It was always either too hot or too cold in her troubled mind. And no amount of tossing or turning could ever tucker her out enough for her to tuck her self in, at night her mind was a race car that never ran out of gas,
Healthy girls wanting to be my size they aren't happy they have voices in their heads telling them to eat this an eat that  that's why they are fat they always complain and it's not a game 
Disappointment. Anger. Sadness. Fear. I'm afraid. Some days are easier than others. Some days it feels like ropes are pulling me into the ground, and I don't have the strength to resist, so I just sleep. Some days my heart feels heavy.
In just one moment Her inner soul was shattered and broken Never to be the same
MIA
                                          She ran away down the sewer drain                                                                             hoping to find herself.
Words are taken for granted.  Written in books that just sit on shelves. Children no longer want to read but play video games.    What about the children who suffer. depression anxiety
There we stood face to face neither one daring to flinch The mirror howling screaming in agony its cries growing more and more and even more intense
I don’t cry much,
    When I was young And things got tough I’d call my mom
Ana
 
Her
In the 6th grade I saw her
I look at the mirror disgusted I spit at the reflection Nothing to be proud of Nothing to see I scream Says every girl daily
I hear voices Go see the school psychologist I am not eating anything Go see the nurse I am cutting myself Go see a guidance counselor I am pregnant Go see Planned Parenthood
Inside, they consume me the words of society filled with rejection   My heart aches and throbs  as I'm wrapped in the image of pure pefection   Yet I can not grasp
I’ve had a target on my back since I was five.I got to the point where I didn’t want to be alive.Like other children, I just wanted to be an actress.That turned into hiding razors under my mattress.
In a box, But not with my mind, It got out. Now, I can't find, Sanity. Anywhere. And I can't see, Yet I stare, At the body, Left behind. Where is my soul?
I'm just dying To be perfect. Whatever it takes, Will be worth it. Can I please, Be enough for you? I'm stumbling, trying, To make it through. And pleasing everyone,
Acting, Like I'm up on a stage. Memorized the lines On every page. And the girl, The one that I play, She's the one That'd you'd like, And see every day. But underneath the surface,
  Life seems normal, content and all. From the outside you see a girl whose standing tall. But the truth is really a much different story,  For everyday’s a battle that’s really quite gory.
Why? Why do you look at me like that? I am a normal girl, with feelings and such. Yet you send me to a clinic, because I refuse to consume the garbage you feed yourself. All I want is to be thin, to be that beautiful girl on Cosmo magazine.
Why? Why do you look at me like that? I am a normal girl, with feelings and such. Yet you send me to a clinic, because I refuse to consume the garbage you feed yourself. All I want is to be thin, to be that beautiful girl on Cosmo magazine.
Before recovery,  when ED talked i listened. HE said i was lazy, i ran. HE said i was fat, i dieted. HE said i ate to much, i starved. HE told me to purge, i vomited. When ED was with me i cried.
I am living in a mirror, I can never measure up. I am stuck inside this world of reflection, I can only see myself. The outside world is very dim,  just only a faded picture.
The weight of the world is rest on my shoulders Depression, anxiety, constant fear It sits there and laughs at me It whispers negativity in my ear. "You cant help her." "You're not good enough."
Little girls are barbie's, little girls are sweet, little girls are perfect,and taught to be neat. Taught to be skinny, and pretty, and fair. Taught to have beautiful, long locks of hair.
alone strictly practiced discipline on cold tile unforgiving begin swelling rushing water a raging orchestra filling the tub distract
I turn like an unbalanced ballerina in the face of the mirror, Examining each curve and pudge of the body I have been drilled to hate, And squint critically as I suck in my stomach. Am I pretty yet?
Your pale complexion; white and gray, I pray that you’ll live through another May. The hair on your head is growing thin, And I can’t find any more fat on your chin. It pains me to know that this is your choice;
Learning acceptance of what cannot be changed, Gaining knowledge of destruction, Unveiling of the path which cannot be ignored, Learning old ways which cannot be ignored,
Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Make me pretty, thin, and tall. Who is fairest of us all? When will Beauty finally fall? Paint my face and Dye my hair, Then will someone truly care?
Internalize what you love, despise desire lose yourself, entire yet don't dismiss that inner tormented artist when did we proclaim that our dreams were unattainable?
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