survivor

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My mind is a battlefield It has trouble distinguishing danger from safety It makes rain on a tin roof sound like gun fire Makes fireworks on the Fourth of July into an air raid
Standing before you all with pride, Getting all the limelight. Flashes, and cheers, Crowd applauding, I hear. 'Miss Beautiful Smile', they've crowned me as. Posing to the media, I get flashbacks.
I wish you would just hit me But you got inside my bones and split me from the inside. I hate that I’m that girl who writes poetry about a boy to feel human again. But you’re not a boy,
I truly never thought it'd be me, 'cause as a kid all my cares were free. So when she looked me in the eyes and said chemo starts soon, my heart opened up to the emotional wound.
I am a victim.  I am a victim of my own mind.  I hold myself captive.   I am also my own abuser. For years I have abused myself into being the victim of my own mind.
The demon will always be with me.  It used to control me,  Control what I did, who I talked to. I could only talk to those who knew, others wouldn't understand. But at the same time,  I couldn't tell anyone. 
Bleeding, crying and hiding. Scared of the train that went past your house at exactly midnight, but really just scared of everything. You were supposed to run wild and build blanket forts.
My play-doh set. My brown barrette. My high top shoes. My young views. My dirty shirts. My elbow hurts.                 My parents yelling. My lips never telling.  
She did not even know your last name She only knew you from Psych 101 If she only knew what was to come   Little conversations here and there She started to open up
It’s different than a period Dripping down your thigh - That’s from me: that’s mine. Not the boy at the party who Let you feel safe -
Oft awake a feeling, Total misery. Cat starts a meowing, Come and feed me.    Stretch yawn and wonder, Will I ever feel free? This deep and heavy burden, Within deep Centre of me. 
Planting seeds is easy when you all you do is watch. It becomes embedded very early that alter to this path you'd  be awash. Later on things seem normal, in the family home .
I can't work out why it didn't work today, yesterday, or the year before. Try as I might to make things happen exhaustion often intervenes. Many an idea come my way, buildings, new business, space, and 
I first recognised it as an infant, becoming accustomed to this trait. Sporadic bursts of love and laughter were sure signs  this was meant to be.  Then monumental loss replaced it with a scourge of darkness
I always knew my aunt was a fighter  Since she was a little girl she had been fighting for her life, suffering in health, but exceeding in everything else
Survivor's guilt sounds like my sister getting beat in the next room for something I know I did.   That's the thing-- I did. I did not. Did, did not. I did I did I did NOTHING.  
My body has been burned Scorched and used From the times my feathers were ripped from my body In a pillow fight I will never win. My bones are fragile
I know how it feels To live in a house but sleep in the guest room, Have to ask if you can eat this cereal, or that bread, or that milk,
To the one who took my life from me:   The way my nightmares used to speak I thought it would be in screams and in shouts.
To whoever may read these words,  
I'm tired of being censored.       I know all my loved ones are so concerned,       But haven't you all learned?       I need normalcy- I yearn for it.
Sweet dreams are made from sober dazzling inseams, Those seams were once clogged by cocaine fog.   Where are your words, little writer? He taunted you; “aren’t you a fighter?”.
Though I run till my breaks hurt I have loved till I tasted dirt. And all of the embodiment of a 4’11 squirt. I have no reason to apologize for all of his lies.
Dear You,
to the oppressed: In a world, so dark and cold where all hope is lost good and evil right and wrong are throw away like paper however plenty there is not
Dear the boy who took advantage of my love:  
Little one don't even try To rid yourself of sin Little one just live your life Sweet child of the nephilim Little one please keep in mind The way you treat your fellow kin Little one be fair and kind
Breathe in... Breathe out... Swallow the threatening tears down. They have no place here now. Breathe in... Breathe out... Inhale past the tightness and knots inside.
When I was 10, While brushing my teeth I noticed my gums bleeding- And my mother told me That it was just bad blood leaving the body. That I’m doing such a good job, At respecting myself.
Does no still mean no if its accompanied by an "I dont"? If it came out with a laugh dipped in liquor and exhilaration But ended in a chuckle soaked in fear and discomfort? Phone a friend to make sure I wasnt over reacting
tonight is one of those nights where   i am clawing at the bed sheets hoping to find   the comfort that the mattress store promised.  
I saw you, Once in a dream, twice with a scream. You stood there watching, Praying. Waiting. I was there playing, Singing, hoping. Like fairies on a flower, We danced on short legs,
I just wanted to write and say, in case you ever wonder or are filled with regret Or in case your heart decides to change after asking for forgiveness
Look, there’s a reason they call us “survivors” and “warriors.” We wake up in the middle of the night, eyes staring into the glow-in-the-dark stars we pasted long ago and weep.
Sleeping is peaceful, the darkenss is a blanket that surrounds and comforts. Dreams are vivid, full of life, and love. I lay my head on the pillow ready for peace to overcome my soul.
A year defined and caged by a measurement, and constrained by time, could never explain the revelations, or cover the cost of my silent frustrations.
I watched her, I watched her fingers untangle from the struggling grip of my hands. I watched her eyes grow in hate and sorrow from the shattering promises
I am the little girl who likes to be alone.  I’m from hurtful words that nobody knows about, where the world is a playground and my life is a song.  I am from remembering a time when each day was long.  I am the friend who always smiles when nothi
It was a happy place rainbows sunshine colors toys But now, it's far less -  It's a place filled with formailties, correctiveness, commas... And this was the breaking point.
They never talk about this. They never talk about what happens after. When the crowds leave. When the pomp and circumstance has faded. When there's nothing left but me and him.
In the beginning there was light .. & that light was good .. When did it fall away ?
There's velvet lining on a woven silk floor,mirrored ceilings, and I can't find the door.My peaceful palace, once plainly placate,was fearfully empty, everyone within did vacate.Though I too, tried to leave the room,
Two things I can't deal with A broken heart and a new addiction The man I loved abused my trust And at the moment I got zannies in my system I'm just a young female trying to make it  In a world where if we don't got it we're going to take it  The
Shadows, Dark, cold spots in a ray of sun. Shadows hide things, Hide secrets.   You look at me, You see a bright, smiling, happy person. But it's only a wall, And that wall,
I have seen you strength day in and day out Fighting for the happiness of our family Being the only thing keeping us sane in this mess
I’ve sat in this hospital bed for days 
Wondering, contemplating, thinking,
 Believing
 Maybe I belong here. Maybe I am as crazy as you say I am. 
 Maybe I was asking for it. 

I am a flawed individual who's living day by day Been in an lonely dark place for too long, I'd to settle for less, which is wrong "What's wrong?" they'd ask day by day
I am me. I am crazy. I am quiet. I am loud. I am not popular. I am content.   I am me. I am my playlist. I am my grades. I am small mind. I am a great mind.
I am a survivor I survive , that's what I do I have seen peace I have seen war I have witnessed the cruelty of man The harshness of life, the discrimination of the society.
"Let me kiss away your pain" It's not that simple My scars are not visible But the cuts are deeper than any knife I don't let my struggle show  
I am a survivor One of many Same story different writing So how am I unique?   I could go on and on I am a survivor of domestic violence I had Daddy Issues
Identified through numbersand only a whisper of a namethat I cannot confirm,I don't know who I am.Ten years were stolen
I am Survivor Anne Who has been cast away, who could never meet demands by those more cruel by the words they say. And though they spit and punched and screamed and tried to tear her dow
In a nutshell, I'm not a nut At age 22, I lost half my gut. Crohn's Disase was diagnosed so, the surgeon snipped, clipped, and cut...   Stella, i named what was left. She's a pretty,
Depression and anxiety,Those things that try to come back to me.O and that PTSD,
We the survivors,  Owe much to the real heroes,   Who's service,  We commemorate  On Memorial Day. ~ Ricardo
A cumbersome, catatonic existence can burn at my handsand I'll keep the torch with me, an old friend caught between young palms,ash and emotion make me stand:
The bleeding gives language to a  Pain I can't place words on.   So deep I can't feel it I've become it.   It both consumes me and has composed me And I am devoured by my own teeth.  
They are not here to hurt us They're supossed to be here for love Now it doesn't feel like enough Punished. Beaten. Abused. They used us up Now who am I? Look at me and see what you have done!
the day i first met him i turned to stone. my eyes seemed to fog over when he passed by me and my normally nonstop lips fused together. he seemed to fit so perfectly to me like a lego in my lap but
Some People hide in the darkness
My life is like music:
"You're white, you're a girl, your life is easy." On the outside looking in, I suppose: I am white, I am a girl. I come from a white family Born into happiness and health. Raised with respect and manners.
i would torch the city if it meant that you would see the light a million little fears breaking down into ash and as the tears in your eyes reflected the inferno shining bright as you began to break inside
Trigger Warn
It has been said that all your cells (with some exceptions) are replaced every seven years. Every seven years, you are a new person. I was thirteen years old when he would touch me.
Me
Alone. Isn't that how it starts?I sit alone, waiting for a call A call that could possibly save my life. I am alone. My depression eats me alive But I still try. Try. I try to be happy
I am made of sticks and stones. I rebuilt myself from those I found Strewn about the kitchen floor, Remnants of your drunken tirades. My bones felt hollow When I learned that yours
Gravity seems compelled to affect my tears alone. I'm suspended above the crowd that will always judge me. They see me as falling,but I'm stuck in the air--
It was unexpected ‘cause I was just a kid. Bike rides and doodles of a man-eating squid.   Those pretty days were spent on the lawn of my school, laughing and gasping
Society says the point of “getting better” is to be loved. By someone; by something. 
Maturity can be seen in many opportunities. Staying classy with an attitude of nasty. Showing off my curves and edges, letting everyone know i have imperfections.  Flashy ring and fancy cars may not be in my future. but atleast im not tortured.
What can you expect me to do? After always telling me I'm so little, so few. I'm never enough, not for you.
She sits alone,No one be told,She’s right there,Dying to be held,To be shown a new way,Living past a life of shame,It seems like a game,Noone stays,Pain craves,Inside and Out,
what I really hate the most is all this talk of “survival.” my life is not a jungle filled with stripèd tigers and striking snakes. my life is not a building going up in flames.
Rape. It led to my silence. For a year I let what happened control me, let HIM control me. Fear. I was scared.
I had been dating a boy for two years, seven months, and twenty eight days when he raped me.
My hairs a mess I don't even distress of how I dress my leggings are all worn people are going to know it's all torn
The door finally closes, another day spent, Another act finished, but I’m not content.   I look in the mirror, stare into my eyes – Were they fooled today by my act, my disguise?  
                           FREEDOM
My body is a cocoon of pungent regret holding its breath for the metamorphisis to a butterfly of knowledge my body is a hub of nocturnal imagination paints my dreams in garish tones and people hues
I am a girl. I am a woman. I should sit on the toilet, and stare at the wall, or the tub, or the sink. My view should be of the things around me, not the things under me. I am a human. I am a person.
  Why did I put up a fight
I see myself a vision of perfection, Regardless of what my mother says that only god is, If only god is I am god of my own self vision, Anything else is kept to myself as self imprisonment,
His words were firmer than his hands and his heart as firm as stone, The man that I called dad Yet I no longer have a home   It was only a matter of seconds that his evil ways were ended,
It's not my looks that set me apart from the crowd. My academic achievements make me no different from others either. I am not smothered with popularity, and I am not showered with constant admiration.
These Battle Scars                                                                  
Breath your head is still above water Shh, no reason to cry the monsters can't get you anymore Scream that's right, Yell anything, just don't fall victim you're stronger now
"Ok, she admitted Mommy you were right.Something unrealized until there was absence of light.Every word her mother said kept running through her head.
Idle Hands Mishief's means Consequences damned For all to see   No thought of tomorrow Only the now No question of why But rather, of how   All night to play
I am the girl I am the women 
The shadow s
This is a story I never like to talk about but I have to let it off my chest and try to let it go. You're a criminal! You stole it like a pro but guess what? All the pain and the truth I wear as a wound.
Forever heed the soldiers call The blood of innocence shall they steal And shall king kneel 'Till army fall   The face of purity soldier maul So still,  silent sound
It's when I'm here but not here
I'm here hiding Hiding under this thick shell I'm tired of lying I will raise some hell Bring all of my flowing emotions out in the air I'm done with being this person
Wash away this pain, Like black rain, Leave a mark where you go, So I won’t have to know, It’s hurting me inside, Since my love died, I can’t forget what I never know,
I was addicted You would not believe it when I told you
Innocence was all she embodied. Pulled away from the safe havens she dreamt in Taken into the grim realities, a man's brutality.
When I speak, you listen but don't hear My words touch you, but don't wound you When I cry, you see but don't feel My tears wash you, but don't cleanse you When I try, you witness but don't notice
Little girl lost and alone Won’t pick up the phone Too scared to go back home   The bottles kept stacking up Daddy didn’t you have enough Anger grew, We all knew What he was going to do to you
awesome is the way you've never failed to pick me up when I fall... the way you move whenever anyone in the world calls your name.  
Tick tock tick tock goes the clock. Time passes by but not my thoughts.
If I was honest With myself, I'd say to the Mirror I was a desperate woman, But only to love The two people looking back With everything That I could ever give Us
I close my eyes and let the darkness engulf me I grab hold of reality, then fall into a deep abyss My past is my nightmare and I am the creator My heart, with wet tissues and closed valves, aches I am always at war
the blood on the walls
Through high and low Through chaos and darkness Through the depths below and when you've tried your hardest   Be still and know   All the days seem long And the hurt runs deep
Bite me. When I say I’m in a bad mood, don’t take it lightly. It’ll be a fight g’ When you step to me. ‘Cus the stain on my heart burns like lightning striking a dried tree.
Acknowledging It. Barbie pink panties and an oversized tee Time to pick her cherry tree Innocence, gift and curse Him playing doctor and her playing nurse
I make love to the sunshine. I caress it Revel in it And let it touch my every curve. So long did I bask under fluorescent sky So long did I breathe the stagnant taste of closed doors.
Meghan was a single mother of two She worked until her fingers were red and blue Her poor children would always whine and whine One day she decided that would be the last time they whined
It can be tough, just sitting there trapped in your thoughts. Yes, trapped.
What would I change? The world in all it's mystery and pain is still beautiful in it's own way. Who would I change?
I have always felt sick, wounded, and worn. I have been sick since the day that I was born. My body became my own worst enemy Constantly working so hard to kill me,
You are my past. So why do I fear you? For taking my innocence. For taking my confidence.  For making me afraid of every man that comes near.   You are their past. So why do they fear you?
It's great to stop caring.It's nice to not cry.The people in the world,Who I have to leave behind. I'm a human grenade.A plane with no wheel.A hobo in the rain,and a no next meal.
Keeping a smile on your lips is harder than it looks When you’re spiraling down in a sea of depression One thing after another
These are close friend's for experiences. Rape can be prevented. Him Her Them  Me ---
Do not give in, keep up the fight when all hope is far away gone bring the bigger dream to sight.   Press on, do not go into the light do not be wooed by the angel's song
I was only a kid when the streets took my identity.
Heroes Heroes don’t have to have “super powers.”
With him in mind she loses sight of who she is And a very vivid imagine she has, she was told And who would believe what had been done to her
Scared hiding from the thing scaring me Scared of the loud sounds I hear Scared that tomorrow may never come Scared that life is to short for comfort Scared to be alone Scared that I haven't done enough
Stop the lying, I see through you. Stop the yelling, I see through you. Stop the staring, I see through you. Stop the pushing,  I see through you. Stop and realize, 
Forgive me, for my spirit is scarred beyond recognition. 
Please don't be angry, Please don't be mad,
When u look at me what do you see? It’ll be better if u picture me with your eyes closed. Without the accessories and nice clothes. Ignore the nakedness of my worn body and look into my soul. And what do you see?
I like shopping a lot! Jeans, khakis, shorts: booty or not, skirts: long or short. The tops! Shirts V-neck, T, crop top, one shoulder, strapless, just bra, no bra!
You make me sickAll you do is complainCan you say something that will stick?Or just try to even explain
Subconsciously I feel like I'm being wrapped in my own blanket, being protected by my own mind. Something about the darkness of a room gives me chills, I love not knowing what's on the other side.
The mask I wear. The whispered dreams at night. The long scars and small tears. The shadow hidden and out of sight. What I am on the outside, middle, inside, Which one is real, which do I hide?
A needThe emptiness of a soulThe desire to be wantedA hopeless caseWanting to be heard A messageHaving so much to sayBut no one to listenHating myselfAnd everyone else
Im surrounded by familiar faces, The choice has been made I will meet my demise, Torture is realized, life flashing before my eyes, I place the gun to my head as I begin to die.  
  I can’t fly with   Your words  Clipping my wings too short  To grow back full enough  Let me escape  Your grip around my  
She yearns for compassion and love but cant find it Its as if everyone is blindsighted  How can she be strong if hate is ignited everywhere she goes people stop and stare when she judges herself so shamefully,
  Her bones have been broken and she crawls, her legs dragging along, erasing the footsteps of yesterdays routine.  Every inch creaks and snaps and in agony, she stays silent.  " I am Lament."  The sadness of yesterday wavers in her face and she a
Welcome to the hospital. Where they strip you of your human rightsLike liberty and lawful due processYour right to choose, and live, and think,Then say you have Delusions of Persecution.
On January 13, 2012, it is the premature end of MY world as I know it. I’ve been trapped on this sinking ship for seven hours, But I’ll you my story about purgatory in a minute--
Tiny eyes shouldn’t see what I had, Tiny hands aren’t meant to hold secrets, A tiny heart shouldn’t break like that, The tears I cry, they started then, So many years ago. When he came in and took what he did,
I am alive.
Her face is almost imprinted in my mind like a melody. The image is just on repeat. I've never seen anything like that. Maybe it's who she is on the inside that radiates out. But her face shines with such a light I can't explain.
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