lesbian
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it’s her.
i get lost in her eyes,
her voice,
her ideas.
when she talks,
i listen.
when she’s quiet,
I met with her in a field of blooming wildflowers.
She stood there in her sky-blue dress
Amongst the sage,
And primrose,
Bluebonnet and paintbrush,
Dandelion,
And the tiniest white lilies.
it's like being a dandelion in a field of flowersyou look like them, you smell like them, you feel like them
but you're a weed
she made me feel so happy…
so why did I feel so trapped?
I felt that I had finally found a person in this world who genuinely cared for me—and who I genuinely cared for back—and simultaneously that I was drowning where I stood.
I hear a familiar voice.
Softly, -What a sound,
wonder if it’s her.
Why is she calling my name?
I want to indulge.
It’s not hard when it’s not present
When we’re working together and we have to hide
When you’re 1,500 miles away
It’s not hard when we don’t think about it
My life has been on hold for so long I didn’t even realise
No progress has become the new norm
While I sit here and wait for you to love me
Like once upon a time when we were both so young
I am lesbian, I am gay, I am bi, I am trans, I am straight. I am love, I am kindness, I am caring. I am more then my trauma. I am more than my abuse. I am more than my scars. I am what survival looks like. I am human.
you breathed a song into my mouth,
a melody so beautiful that if he should hear it,
Bernstein would write off his symphonies
as nothing more than empty refrains.
My love, my one and only,
A cherub in the eyes of man
She is so small, her bones withering
To the touch, frail ribs poke against the skin
For once I’m actually happy
Despite all the shit that happens,
She makes my day better
It doesn’t matter if my parents don’t “agree” with it
My dad and I butt heads all the time
typewriters and rainbows and there isn’t any rain here now
poetry and books and your hand finding mine
on the drive home
street light shooting stars
Short hair, shoulders wide,
kinda short,
narrow-eyed.
More stubborn than anybody else in my whole damn life!
Stop talking to me like, that.
Walking up to me,
When my mother's right by my side,
It is impossible to say what she is like
as she is incomparable to most earthly things
She's not a wildflower,
she is a whole meadow
A secret kept by the forest
I remember the first poem I ever wrote about you
how at first I had no intention to share it with you
I'd never written anyone a poem --
at least not that I'd shared with them
Insecure, she says
I look at her across the table and think
you're perfect
I have a vendetta against
whoever made her feel less than just that
She deserves more than
I am an ocean
Restless, impatient, wildly emotional, unpredictable
I am the ocean
And you are the sky
I reflect you
Your mystery and raw beauty
When you are clear and bright,I glitter in the sun
I am terrible at reading peopleBut I want to read her
She’s the kind of book I want to read cover to coverThen start all over again
A book I would keep with meAlways learning new things from it
Times never change, Sappho//You could not weave and I could not write tonight//She asked me to write her essay for her (she hates English class) and I said yes—like a fool to the stockades//I turned my essay in late because of her but it
hey? just wanted to let you know that
hey? I might be a little bit slow, but
hey? you're really cool and I like you a lot, but
hey? I don't know if you've even given me a thought
She tucks her t-shirts into her skirt.
She died a streak of her hair in 4th grade.
She only played tag with others girls.
She won't tell her family she likes her,
she isn't afraid,
she just doen't need to.
Her unseeing eyes see me,
More clearly than I could ever have dreamed.
Her kindness envelops me like sunlight,
Chasing away terrors that have haunted me since the day
it's the sound of rain out her window late may
it's the way the sun danced off her eyes on the train
it's how we laid there under the trees reading
They didn’t tell you that cherry cola was wrong,
but they let you know it was.
They said that only the sick minded drank it,
declared from a broken and cracked pulpit
How sickly sweet is my lover
A sinful candy, pink like her lips that soothe my questioning mind
u use a bright pen that is last to be
picked in the packet. may u speak ur true
feelings on paper and pray. she can’t see
where ur love starts and ends. but she has to.
lesbians are not real, peeping tom.
the ones that u want anyway.
dreamland lesbians:
straight girls in sheep’s clothing
that succumb to men’s advances
eventually.
only existing when u
if i was her boyfriend
i’d invite her to stay
the night at my house
if she likes, she would say
“yes!”, we’d grab snacks
i would nervously rest
my head on her shoulder
o why did I wear a dress?
You walked in and all I could do is stare into your beautiful eyes. With my heart beating through my veins, I drew up courage and that’s when I realized. I had no need to fear. Day and night I would sit and talk, here.
Sarpedon couldn't get its head around
A woman who wanted to stand her ground
After a non-consensual encounter.
But Medusa didn't let it discount her
For sexuality isn't "corrected."
You hide behind pages withered with millenia of hatred
Each letter an excuse for you to say "I don't care if they hold hands,
Just don't do it front of my kids."
I'm sitting on your bedroom floor
talking about nothing
but how could I not want more?
you're laying in bed
telling me about your latest fantasy
asking if the same thoughts are running in his head
She sits in a single desk while coloring her Lisa Frank themed books.
Learning my time's tables is confusing, I just want to look at her.
Years locked up, forbidden
A rush of feeling unleashed
Everywhere I look
I am reminded
Of the beauty and love
I once turned away from
Oh, my love, my
Saturday baby, the weekend
Brings an end to my weakness.
It’s never enough to see you
Im sorry I grew up mom
I’m sorry I’m not your little girl anymore..But no matter how many times you try to deny that it’s me and I need to change Frankly you have no say in this matter....
I won’t be meeting you any time soon...
I wish it were this easy to say.
I wish it were this easy to avoid.
I wish it were this easy to hold to my word.
Where foot petals unfolded
Under canopies of foliage was a place
Neither good nor bad --
Was simply beyond. Rumi told
Me this: these words tattooed
Here we flutter, soar, and fly
Abuzz, for all to see, an iridescent sky
Our pride, with which we manage,
Asserting our presence, flags raised high,
On the water there
A petal breaks the silence, suddenly submerged lungs aching for breath,
alone,
more words tumble from the mouth.
Mirror, mirror,
As I speak to you
the petal finds a break
On the water there
A petal breaks the silence, suddenly submerged lungs aching for breath,
alone,
more words tumble from the mouth.
Mirror, mirror,
As I speak to you
the petal finds a break
I.
maybe it was selfish to call this love. but is it greed when all we have is each other?
II.
i watched the world end when i was young;
where there was light before, now there is silence.
“Yes”
I finally said
and my mother’s eyes filled with tears
her gut with pain
her words with poison
my father left my room
my brother looked at me
why his eyes said
Dear fellow lesbians who, within one of you, will someday be my wife:
I am SO SORRY for not looking like a Victoria’s Secret model, or even someone who is “slim thick.”
Dirty
Dirty, dirty words
How dare you speak them in my house
My home, His house
Who I am is not dirty
But let it be undefined, unspoken
I'm at a Frat party with my girlfriend, Louise. Midterms are finally over and we needed to find a way to destress.
At this point, I'm glad I came. The food tastes good, the music is great, and Louise?
Her hair cradling the back of my neck
its quiet in the top of my bunk bed
I smell of lavender & mint juul
So many addictions
In the glimmer of your eye
You stayed;
You left;
Like allergies in the spring.
After flowers came and went,
so did you.
The festival came too late.
I didn't even get to celebrate you.
You have no idea
She is ample
long, luxurious locks
that unlock me
plentiful, sloping curves
that my tongue skiis down
she provides rich milk
nourishing my pounding heart
soft, plump lips whispering
I don’t know you yet
But I know that you are beautiful
I don’t know if you’ve met my family
But I know that you are mine now
Love,
when I was young,
i was told I would fall in love,
why didn’t you tell me,
how much it would fucking hurt.
Flashback
A scared 12 year old
Alone, afraid, abstract
Knowing they were
Different
Than other girls
A stolen glance at school
An unflattering haircut
A google search for
The night loomed over the park. The cold nipped at us.
We held hands through the scattered blackness
and I wasn't even afraid of the dark.
Red Blue Orange Green White Purple bulbs everywhere,
Her bare back moves with each breath
as she sleeps into the late morning.
A tattoo on her shoulder peers over the covers,
as her glasses sit on the table adjacent to the bed.
I want to take in all of her-
I don't remember when I first heard the word
I don't remember when I first knew what it meant
I don't remember anyone telling me
uncomfortable hatred
casual dislike
heart on edge
whenever the word is whispered
i hear them say it
in that hushed tone
sometimes i write Letters
Letters that will never be given
Letters that will never truly live
Letters that will be hidden
or perhaps just thrown away
Letters that will be read by no person but me
i think in poems
when i see you
four lines stanzas that all begin in
how beautiful you are…
and how cliché that is
in my metaphors
i don’t even know how many petals are on
a sunflower
but i’m sure you’ve picked all of my innocence off
and the daisy is dead
he loves me not
metronome heart
allegro to affrettando
pump
hair rises like furtive
ballerinas on strident
piano keys
today i smile because
for years i have denied who i am
today i smile because
i was scared to come out
today i smile because
i was too proud to admit mom was right
today i smile because
You lay on your floor
wating
waiting
waiting for your phone to charge
It's dark
she's asleep at the foot of the bed
be quiet
I hang my hands over the edge of the bed
our fingers graze
Dear future me,
I am from a softly lit night sky stretching out into the dawn,
a homely little cottage basking in its warmth.
i know you're just a girl but still i feel like you put me through the wringer, twisted up my body till i was nothing but wet eyes.
I C.
I see how your heart is a diamond-
it is not neat, rather rough-
but all the world’s light is found inside it.
I C.
THINKING TO YOU IN STATISTICS CLASS - a love letter
I rearrange everything into orders When will the bouncing,
my dora,
i wish i could tell you
i didn’t care
that you were just some sweet girl
i knew some sweet summer
who kissed me too fast
like you knew
time was
runningout
To my 18-year-old self,
I know you are scared
Because it took you forever
To admit to yourself
That you might be gay.
I know you’re confused
Because you’ve liked boys before, too
Last night of October—we lay on the floorWarmly aligned from our shoulders to hipsBy the orange soda fizz of a loud movie scoreLast night of October—we lay on the floorIn the dusty blue attic beneath the trapdoor
ah, look at you.
you’re a plum pit to me,
a cratered seed of stability
amidst rotting flesh,
the nectar of bee stings
rolling off you
She’s bathed in neon colors,
each one a symbol of our pride.
Red for her courage,
Orange for her curiosity,
Yellow for her wit,
At least once a day this sort of... anxiety will come back to me. This fear that I am notgood enough for her and that one day she will accept that she hates me. Every time
There is a loud clattering
and rolling
like 100 rolly-pollys
all hitting the concrete
while falling
at 60mph
I stare at where my hand once hung
suspended in the air
I have doubts every timeYou know I doBut I can’t stop falling into the void that is youAnd even if I am absolutely sure that my poor heartWill break, each and every timeI would still choose you, again and again
do you remember,
when your lips softly brushed mine,
and my heart was a bird escaping it's cage,
and my soul had wings bursting from my back,
because you smelt like cocoa butter and tasted like strawberries,
I've tried so hard but I can't do anything.
I feel stuck in a place I don't want to be.
I drink to lose the pain,
and I get high to feel free.
I'm a lesbian, yet no one understands
there was a sun, there was a moon, each who ruled her hours sun, she satupon the clouds, moon, among the stars. "there is no light i can make",said the moon to her love.the sun shone bright,and nowat night,you can see her up above. halfway across
Welcome to the Closet.
Here you will discover the many wonderful things I cherish.
On multicolored hangers, an array of shirts and dresses are organized by
clothing type.
I know you get confused about the concept of love, and i'm sorry that you would scream at whats above. Thinking you were incapable of feeling for anyone.
She walks with confidence,
Her heels clicking with each step,
She blows a bubble as pink as her lips,
Her petticoat swishing side to side,
How she hated that color,
It made her ill, it made her sick,
The color of candy corn, pumpkin guts, and unnatural cheese,
About her, an air of mystery
I feel I must pursue;
Besides my own sake,
It is my duty
To convince her
That my every word
Is true
The first time I realized I loved you
You were sitting in front of the TV,
It was glowing around you like you were
Something holy
Our love is not normal,
I've been told it's insane.
But no matter how different we are,
She's always on my brain.
Her eyes tell a story,
Her lips soft and sweet.
Her smile is contagious,
Mother, she is light.
She bounces off tin-foil lakes, soothing tides.
She warms the back of my eyes every dawn.
She is a sunspot amongst freckles and stars.
She lets me look on beauty.
I liked it when you told me I would be your princess on a pedestal
I liked it when you told me life with you was never dull
I liked it when you told me I was perfect
I liked that I was the one you picked
Mom, I’m gay
I’ll talk to you later.
I’m sorry (but not really),
I’m in love with a girl.
She is stunning,
My heart is full.
My family is constantly asking,
How many girls,
And how many boys,
I plan on having when I’m older and married.
Because I love you:
I’ll make sure you eat and drink,
I’ll stop pestering if you say “I’m not hungry.”
Because I love you:
I’ll wipe your tears when you cry,
Even silence is ecstasyYour heartbeat in my ear, a steady drum.Monumental or minimal calamitiesUntil my breathing levels,your fingers comb my hair. Your hand in mine, a rushed societal defianceBut you are unabashedly in love.Fierce pride in your
Ever since New York
I tried to change my mind
pushed away these little things
and these little white lies.
I was only 18 surrounded by fool's gold.
I had no control as these fire proof clouds
Her skin soft (in texture and color).
Brown eyes so quirky and radiant.
She's such a dork
and I love that about her.
I barely know her,
so why is she the subject of my poems?
Cherishing otherwise completely normal interactions
A glance my way,
a smile,
a laugh,
the shortest sentence.
But she's with another person.
Another girl.
Fingertips trace along a pronounced collar bone.
Lips run over a jawline.
Hands...carressing...
Hands...undressing...
Passion, lust, adoration.
She's my favorite.
She lost her mother
Like no other.
No mother
No other
New mother
Step mother
Step sister
Would have hugged and kissed her
Loved and missed her,
Stuck with step mother and sisters
there was a princess
who didn't get her perfect ending.
the blanket shielding happy eyes
is still casted by the faux story
of a princess who didn't get her ending.
Live in a world where religion is a parody of its own meaning.Where true love is called perversion,And a preference is classified as a sickness.Where our young are nothing but impressionable
She said, "I hate my own skin." With so much certainty, That I couldn't help but frown. "Why?" I asked. "It's imperfect," she clarified. "It's scarred, blemished, and, worst of all, It's full of moles."
Snow White, Aurora, Jasmine, Belle
Tiana, Cinderella, and my beloved Ariel.
Seven Disney Princesses...
Also known as the seven deadly sins.
"Cinderella, Cinderella, let down your hair!"
Wait.
This is the wrong story.
Cinderella began to allow her loose, yellow, locks
To fall from her window
to her visitor.
"Rapunzel, my love!
I am thankful for queer history.
However hidden it has been.
I am thankful for the great artists and engineers of the Renaissance.
I am thankful for DaVinci and Michelangelo.
13
She should’ve chosen me.
Instead, I watch closely to the boy, the wasn’t me.
I wish I could be a He.
I wish she would like a She.
Take me to Atlantis,
the wide array of sea life.
I want to be where the merpeople are,
and sing their songs of seas.
Take me to Atlantis where I may meet my Princess,
and she will meet hers.
Rapunzel rolled her eyes and brushed her hair
Annoyed by the chants that she was 'his type', wonderful, and fair.
She wasn't a fool for alluring words made to flatter,
Once Upon A Time, when kids could roam freely in the woods, When adults did not have to lock their doors,When the people of the village felt safe. It was a time before chaos fell, Before a tyrant led by greed and desire decimated all happiness,
"Once upon a time" goes the story
But I can't help but find it boring
Because it's filled with heteronormies
And no representation for me.
I want to read one where the princess
In the dream,
I pulled the pink sash off her dress completely,
until the only pink I saw was the pink soft crater on her breasts
and to have her look at me with such intensity again
There once was a girl in a tower.
Her name was Rapunzel.
She dreamed of the day,
She dreamed of how,
Someone would take her away.
They locked her away
put that dyke away
shes frozen in her bones
breasts like ice cream cones
they told her date that man
but around the room she scans
spotting melted girls
If the looks I gave her were illegal,
Surely i'd have a life sentence.
I'd be locked away forever like my heart inside my ribcage,
six letters.
one word.
Faggot.
two syllables that make any queer kid in-or-out of the closet feel nothing less than
unwanted
unloved
Dear Mom, You always tell me That I am your beautiful girl.You always tell me that no matter what I do,what I say,what I wish;I will always be the daughter youAre so proud of, and the one you love. When you sit down to brush my hair,You convince m
Messy, Daylight, Fences
She learned to love her, yes she did
In those few minutes and few weeks
It wasn't love strain'd (maybe Shakespeare'd understand)
And it wsasn't love beow the belt
That feeling, those feelings, that tingling I have
The twinkling, the gleaming, screaming within
The bleeding, the pleading, the grieving that’s been
Confusing when it’s who I am.
Anna is the smell of oatmeal with pears and strawberries
Illegal in the eyes of the judiciaries
More hot and heavy than every star in Aries
Anna and I held hands in eighth grade
"Your hands are sweaty."
I am a lesbian.
I am a human.
I am alive.
I have feelings.
I do not hate men.
Men have not hurt me.
It's not a phase.
I can fall in love.
When I was thirteen,
I knew exactly who
I was going to marry.
He would be tall,
and strong,
with black hair
and even blacker eyes.
He would be my protector.
I remember the colour of her eyes
Staring up with me with more heat than that Summer day.
All the fire,
All the passion,
All the greens and browns and golds.
Swimming in a sea of skin
I only felt her warm hand
fingers laced through mine
like sutures binding a wound
allowing it to heal.
I love how your hand fits in mine, I love how your smile can light up a room, I love how your eyes shine in the sun light, I love when your Eyes meet mine. You are the Ronald to my Hermine.
78 I never thought you could change. You're 78. You're stuck in many of your ways, but one day you changed, it all started with a girl named Emily. Seventh grade, my first ever crush on someone that I couldn't shake or ignore.
With Her,
Faces, names, places,
All the world spins past,
On a colorful carousel
Within grasp,
But She is next to me
I don't care for anyone else
She's here
They're not.
I haven’t told my family and friends about these feelings,
How I find girls more appealing.
I wish I was freewheeling
Because my heart is what she’s stealing.
My heart pounds when she’s near.
Why does it offend you?
Why do we offend you?
Why do I offend you?
Why does Love, offend you?
There are two queens
In my kingdom
There are two queens
In my kingdom, you see
There are two queens
And nobody is the 'man'
In our damn relationship
Do you need basic definitions?
she examines the tallies on her arm—
a red one
for each time
she’s loved
and lost.
one single black mark
As I grow older, I find myself falling for girls with a similar mindset as me
I used to chase after girls
Who were pretty, beautiful, but had no personality
Something had clicked and in that moment I knew
In the slip of her hair, there is immensity
I am cloaked, held, burned
Her head is tilted
Oh God, the world is in her shoulders
And she smiles like an arrow
Her. Her hair shimmers in the sunlightSunlight brings warmth to her bodyHer body is seemingly porcelainSo fragile yet so beautifulYou want to reach out and grab herYet she does not existYou're whole life you are searching for herYou're one wish ig
Best friend falls for best friend
a classic
sometimes tragic
rarely as magic as movies
but people love the possibility in familiarity
at least when it's she and he
but it was her and me
It never hurt to be queer until
you made it burn like a brand
on my skin in that bar.
When you let bullets loose like
kisses on bare skin onto
the bodies of those who I will
In this world that we live in, we’re all God’s children
But how does it make sense that somehow I’m the exception
I’m unique, I’m me, I’m one in a million
To my best friend.
When we met it was the 15th day of 3rd grade
I sat alone in the corner like I always had
But this time, you were there with someone
Anxiety and me
Go hand in hand with my sexuality and me
I am not straight
And I am not gay
I am somewhere in the in-between
It's okay little girl it'll be alright,One day those bullies won't make you cry.It's okay little girl it'll be alright,One day those rumors won't fly in the sky.It's okay little girl it'll be alright,Your mom'll always be there to hold you tight.I
Sexuality is a complex concept.
If I got specific about my sexual and romantic orientation,
The most accurate way to describe my preferences would be:
I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of love
Of happiness
Of how much they cost.
What do I have to lose
To gain.
I'm afraid of you the most.
I'm afraid of how I notice you.
girl is sensual,girl likes sitting on a washing machinewith her mascara mouth openchanting something she learned in a pop song.
There’s this soft shirt you ownI like it when you wear it because it holds onto your perfumeAnd I can bury my face in your shoulder or rest my chin against your neck and take you in
The main character loves me, the smart side-kickThe thought is a balloon that continuously rises
I can’t live without
the first scent of the fall breeze.
I can’t live without
stomach aches from laughing so hard
with my best friend when we haven’t seen
each other in such a while.
"Wow, that's pretty brave.
Chancing on your mom walking in
On you shoving a dildo
Into your girlfriend."
The alarm screaming, burning eyes
After not once allowing my brain to dip into sleep
I used to think,Why should I even try?It’s hard when everyone around doesn’t see what going on inside your mind,They don’t see the pain, the hurt, or the struggle. At 3AM I lie awake, crying because of fear
i don't think i'll ever forgethow your hands felt on my neckin the backseat of our best friend's car. youtraced lines of poetry down my spinewith hands covered in glitter and lust.my
I drink her love in, parched
And blow it out, gentle, like smoke
It flows in rings that surround her face like a frame
As if to say "look!!!" with cautious desparation
I choke on the heat it brings
Eyes of green bottleglass and amber,
not gems faceted but true
stare acutely at dotted marks
on field and of blue,
while silver moonlight hair and skin
of sweet ice cream are dim and fade
Sinking deeper into my own feelings of concealment, / It's so much easier to tell a lie that you believe.
She smells like sunshine
Bittersweet and blindingly bright
Specks of dust that dreamily dance in her light fill my lungs
She feels like a stormy night
Static shocks from her fingertips
She loves subliminal.
If only your conscious could grasp her heart.
I hold her, we dance beyond the horizon.
Subliminally I tell her to have little faith in me.
It’s not much but she is fair.
Once- the kiss was okay,
We had just come back from the fair and I couldn’t resist his blue eyes,
Smirking grin staring like me like we were about to explore a whole new chapter
Maybe she likes sports
Maybe he likes ballet
Maybe she's a he
Maybe he's a she
Maybe she likes girls
Maybe he likes boys
We must be treated equal
We are humans, not cookie cutter toys
You said I am like that feeling you get from letting go of a balloon,
and watching it drift until it’s color vanishes.
At first, it crushed me that you compared me
Give it to me
Fingerlicking Oh Yeah
This is heaven, you ARE my sin
It's innocence lost.
If you got sny prettier, you can be my goddesse.
Touch my heart but go a little slowly.
In the early hours,
Morning of a late summer day,
The fog hung softly in yellow light,
A moist dew hung on the window sill,
Every time someone would ask me my sexuality,
I would feel the words get caught in my throat
And I’d try my hardest not to swallow them down.
Holding silvers and golds into place on your neck,
Keeping notes and to-do lists on a refrigerator in check.
So it was winter break and we decided that we would go to her parents house since she would always come to mine on holidays and occasions.
My bones are led
Weighing me down
Onto this bed
That isn’t swallowing me
Fast enough
And in my head
Too many things
Too many thoughts
Are pouring in
Desperate to be heard
This low fire
Constantly burning
It's lust always lust
It grows hotter
Stronger in her presence
And hers too
I'm weak
To a well thought out retort
I am
A gay Catholic
A gay Catholic
You say?
Can you please
Explain?
What’s there
To even explain
I’m Catholic
And I’m gay
But they don’t
There's something
Always has been
From the moment
You said
Hello
There's something
In her smile
In her eyes
That say
Whatever comes
From this
There is a little girl in the universe right now who is learning to not speak.
The Old Masters paint ladies with rough horsehair brushes
and treat them with noxious turpentine.
My eyes are sore
I imagine the red rims
where all the thoughts swim
and melt into a dream right before me
And ignore me, the very part that i've buried
with the ribbons and the bows and the fury
On the first daymy eyes metyou,I wasfascinated.I dreamedof my fingertipstracingyour body; trembling over each curveI wanted totasteyour breathe;feel
She perches herself in front of her mirrorResting on a peach vanity stoolBlack lace accentuaes her curvatureShe removes the eleastic band from her bunGolden vines caress her shoulders
No matter what I do,
No matter what I say,
You will always see,
What you want me to be.
You can call me "she" instead of "he"
And you can call me by my birth name.
She is, in essence, all things. She is the universe embodied, and every tiny speck of dust within it. In her infiniteness, she draws all who meet her in and gives them a piece of her.
I’m
Broken up inside and I
Can’t tell you what’s
Wrong but I will
Try to let you see.
You’d
Hate me so much because I’m
Not what you dreamed and I
Am so sorry but you
Why do I feel like I have to hide,
If we are all a little broken inside?
Maybe I am ashamed or at times a little scared,
but I shouldn’t have to feel this way.
I wish I could make them accept me,
Thank you five,
thank you places—
don’t break curtain,
crack that imaginative fourth wall
where the boys must be chasing you;
aren’t they lining up at your door?
“We know”,
They don't really know who I am,
They only see what I choose to show them,
You guys don't know I'm secretly a fem,
I do the dirty for that green,
But men are just so mean,
I am now a lesbian.
Can you and I make love in the dark?
So I won't have to face reality
So my imagination can create the scene of what is instilled in me to be right.
Can you and I make love in the dark?
Once upon a time
A little girl sat on her daddy's knee
Dreaming of her future
A princess of a fair kingdom
With a handsome prince by her side
Once upon a time
I want answers you tell lies
Going against my religion, but not my heart
Which is worse?
God, why do I anger you
I like girls I'm really sorry
It wasn't on purpose
Let her eyes scan the fall
The wind blowing through her hair
She hears it now
All the words that were whispered
Behind her back
Words on how she was wrong
How she could never be right
"I have sea foam in my veins
I understand the language of waves"
it's so fortunate:
You're the eye of the storm
& I won't ever board up my windows,
you've got me upside down and inside out
The hummingbirds are still whirring
their wings to that coronal metronome.
Sending shivers through the shrapnel
in an intrinsic trance
with each wink.
Thank God you've found a use
for all that room,
I fell for a meteorite
& I didn't even know it
until you said
I made your heart a fast clock,
because I didn't feel the same.
The beating in my chest is no more since
I left my heart
i thought i was faulty
attributed a lack of sexuality to the fact that be i was hurt by a man who said he loved me
It has been an era since I have gazed
Into the mirrored eyes of morning.
The thought lingers in an ocean
Of fruitless expectation.
The yearning, thirsting shore
Waits untouched by equipoised waves
i want to shout my love's name from rooftops and i want to make the whole world know she's mine
i see my love in everything there is because my love is as soft as skin and as brave as the ocean tide
Holding on so tightly of everything you know,
Only to find that you want to let it go,
What happens when all the hate and a taboo
Becomes Who you are,
What happens when What you love
Tears your family apart,
He smelled like pee, says the underwear
tucked under the pillow on the washed out bed,
he loved to color, says the four boxed in walls;
he also loved peanut butter sandwiches and juice
this self mutilation is getting out of hand
every night i break down i know i cant stand
to stay here much longer, im am beaten and damned
to rot away slowly with nothing in hand
The same brain, body and gender.
Having a light make-up,
We go out.
Wearing pink dresses and high-heels.
As usual...
You say you know me
But you judge by the facade
The fake smile and nice disposition
The innocence and false confidence
She saw this girl but didn't think much of her.
Then she would start seeing her around a lot.
Randomly they had a conversation which felt right.
They started talking and instantly had a connection.
Why must we hide
Why must we apologize
Why must we be criticized
For who we are inside
I see no reason to lie
People are monsters
Hating those who just want
To love
And I'll be kneeling on the floor
Saying let me in too
For all I've done
Was try to mirror you
You told me to love
And that I did do
I didn't think you specified to who
I don't believe this is it
The do all end all
Of all things I coud do
Is finding love so wrong?
Because I don't think so
Is giving love so wrong?
Because I don't want to be judged
I am a teenage lesbian
I wonder why I am discriminated against.
I hear negative comments from the ones I love.
I see hateful slangs being thrown at me.
I want everyone to realize that love is love.
Out here, it's just you and me
No one telling us who to be
The moonlight and the stars shining so bright embrace us as we embrace each other
I have a dream that one day equality will mean just that. Marriage is a right for everyone. I have a dream that one day discrimination will no longer exist.
I didn’t want to keep you too long.
I’ve started to think, maybe,
I idealized you
Some sort of goddess I made you.
You were my crutch.
Maybe you weren’t all you cracked up to be.
Fuck first semester
And financial aid and scholarship applications and just money in general.
And the 3.5 I needed if I wanted to come back.
And my parents.
And money
And society for revolving around money
It was our wedding day
Full of love and admiration
I looked into her gleaming emerald eyes
I knew we’d remember this forever
It was our wedding day
Friends and family sniffled in the Palace
I fell in love
Woth a woman
Who taught me how to love.
Because of this love
I'm a
Faggot
Dyke
Sinner
Slut
Whore;
An abomination.
When did the world turn to hate?
I grew up in America.
I grew up in England.
I grew up in a Massachusettes hospital.
I fell in love with
Romance
At a young age.
Didn't see it much
Growing up,
Down at the ocean blue
Whorls of sea foam churn madly
Like the feelings in this beating chest
My heart trembles like a victim of anthrax poisoning viciously suffocating
Mary said to Betty Lou
I love you dear with all my heart.
And Betty Lou then said to Mary
We should ne’er be far apart.
So they held hands and skipped along
Right up to the holy place.
I can't get my words out because the constrictor in my throat is begging my silence to keep it company. Because they're bigger than me and their burns sting like the cigarettes they want me to be
So I stay silent
I am a very religious heterosexual female. I am currently dating a guy, going on a year now. We are very happy together and we've even discussed marriage way down the road.
Choice is a conscious decisions
We choose what we wear
And what we say
And what we do
But Love is not a choice
Love is a feeling
Mysterious and dangerous
Silently screaming
YOU need to change
YOU utter words of pain
Sharp enough to slit my wrist
Yet clear enough for me to think
Should I really end this?
The name calling the jokes
It all never stops
I never thought my sexuality
The way I love
Would become the center of my world
It would be the sun around which I revolve
I didn't think I would become so obsessed
So focused on finding myself
He doesn't have too many friends
Then again, it's a small school
None of us have too many friends
But he doesn't have too many friends
And he's walking down the hall
And someone yells out
"Hey! Look!
Bones rattling
It's just two words
Why are they so hard to spit out?
Skin dripping
Isn't this what you've been wanting?
Haven't you wanted to tell them?
Mind reeling
If I was asked to define love,
I would say that it was the way
we fell into eachother's arms
On the 30th of October.
If I was asked what it feels like,
I would say it feels like the way
My father would rather me be with a man
Who sinks his teeth into my skin
Like a hungry pig
Than for me to be in love with a woman
Who glides her fingers down my spine
Like I am artwork
A twisting lock of hair falls round your face
A shield of purple lacquer coats your nail
As desperately I need to know my place
I try and try and try to no avail.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt.”
What a load of shit this is.
Clearly, the people who spew this phrase have never faced daggers of words, have they?
Sitting on the red bench
The busted, rusted, nasty school bench
The place I used to go when the teacher had enough of me
What an ugly word
Benched.
Sitting on the red bench
"You are nothing but what you want to be"
And what I want to be I must conceal
I must hide
Keep it secret
Sweep it beneath the rug
Never to see the light of day
Put it under lock and key
A little girl of such young age
No choice while being restrained
Molested and abused
Raped and used
Sexuality that defines her
Body weight that reminds her
A fathers disappearance blinds her
He wakes up and rolls over
Sees the love of his life
And he loves him just the same
As a husband loves his wife.
Been together for ten years
Yet no ring on his finger
Because America the Brave
i am not in love
i have dreams to marry
to have children
but i am not in love
my mother is recently divorced
but it is no longer frowned upon
i would love to marry
but somehow that is wrong
In this little town it's not celebrated
but being different is the best thing you can be.
If you'd go to this school you'd see a bunch of the same.
Who wants to be a clone?
I was bullied for being different here
Others may just see a girl, beautiful and pure,
But the moments when I look at you, I see so much more.
For instance, I see shining stars dancing in your eyes,
Though if I called them beautiful, they'd simply roll on by.
the heel of your shoe
beneath my chin
it rests, smothering
all joy within
and choking the breath
containing my sin,
or so called,
by the unrest
who with lonely lungs
Texas History Class in seventh grade
blonde-haired blue-eyed coach is our teacher, hooray
but what happens when he starts to talk about gays?
to say that my cousin "Won't turn out right"
because he has two mommys
#YOWO
And I loved a girl
with pain etched into her lips
and death written along her soul.
Art poured from her fingertips
and poetry was carved into
I’ve known I was a boy since I was three years old
It’s not only something I know
It’s something I feel deep into the crevasses of my soul
Most people don’t think twice of it
I like shopping a lot! Jeans, khakis, shorts: booty or not, skirts: long or short. The tops! Shirts V-neck, T, crop top, one shoulder, strapless, just bra, no bra!
I wish I could tell you
about myself:
that I love the whole spectrum of gender
and that I feel so uncomfortable
in my own skin
that I want to peel it all away
and become new
Straight girl walks in a crooked line
Straight to hell, ignoring the signs.
Nothing is straight under pressure,
Living under a forever broken spine.
Straight talk isn't so straight anymore,
Love is Strong
Love is Powerful
Love is Free
Yet is it judged
Not being able to love whom we want for who we are
But at the end Love will always concure those who judges
I really don't understand why I don't want a man. But I do have reasons for my attraction to females. I just love women. From the heat of their kiss. To the unintentional swaying of hips. In the French kiss, I get a strawberry flavor.
Since when does my sexuality effect
Your well being,
Your family,
Your life.
Since when does anyone's sexuality effect
Your well being,
Your family,
Your life.
It's a matter of fact
She loved you,
Couldn't you see?
From left to right,
Her heart was set on you.
I write in awe,
But thankful I am.
You were what once filled her heart,
But now I am what love means to her.
My eyes are green
My makeup is black
My hair is blonde
And my thoughts are back
…………………………
My soul is blue
Her hair is short
And bitter sweet
Her eyes are red
She doesn’t sleep
………………………………………..
She lay awake
sleeping with my mother in her wide bed,
the cold windows shed blue radiance
over our form.
her sturdy arms were flung over me;
here i was safe, comfortable
like in a velvet cage.
When did I start being fabulous?
The moment I was conceived.
That little lapse of time
when my father’s sperm
met my mother’s egg.
“Why can’t you be a cute lesbian?”
Mom asks,
staring up at me while she lays in bed.
“Why do you have to be butch?”
Do you not get I was made this way?
Eyes connect
Shoulders rolling back
Chest puffed out
Plump lips of pure crimson
Curling up in a seductive grin
Beckoning that I come closer
And closer still
Breath quickening
As I sit there listening to them talk,
I wonder am I good enough,
To be apart of this family,
That no longer know who I am,
Or what I have become,
A female apart of Humanity that is no longer understood,
I sit in class and don't say a word.
When I do speak up, I go unheard.
People say "I know who you are", but they really don't.
They pretend they understand, but I'm afraid that they won't.
His arms tightly grasped
His eyes filled with love
His smile blooms
His heart races
He lowers his head
Their lips meet quickly
Just once
A boy rushes around the corner
Take my hand again.It misses you, so much.It's lonely here withoutyou to share my tea.There's nothing to see.
There's a light in my heart
And I want it to be voiced
Just because I am different, does it mean I don't have a choice?
Of who I love and who I don't
Do I have to be straight to be normal?
As a child we learn about love,
between a woman, a man and the sun.
Pure and sweet as a dove,
oh what a sick pun.
No one taught me that song,
I learned it on my own.
Now you claim I am wrong?
She is
Tall
Brilliant
Gorgeous
Funny
Amazing
I am
Average
She is
A girl who, when she says "hello" her smile is genuine
And it makes your heart pound in your chest
Everything is fantastic, euphoric even.People who've been there from the start surround you,Laughing, joking, smiling, even mum is bragging.“Yeah, I have the best daughters ever.”
It's everyday nowI'm always the targetI didn't ask to be gay, it just happened.They always torment me, "You're gonna go to hell."He pushed me into the back corner"I can make you straight"
Teacher, open your eyes!
You are feeding them all lies!
We are living in a society so enwrapped with gender,
I imagine myself becoming a bender.
Not only of rules, regulations, and taboo,
I've been raised in a world that dictates who you can love.
Not by the foundation of their character, but the structure of their bodies.
A point where I feel ashamed to mention that the girl walking past me is beautiful.
She opens my eyesto a new world,a new universe,full of happiness;happiness to be with the one I lovebut also, a new world fullof hurt.They are constantly staring,plotting against us,
I am not African American,
I am not Caucasian,
I am not Asian,
And I sure as hell am not other.
I’m just human.
But, where is that box I can check?
The bubble I can circle in?
I feel your pain.
I know the hate.
I see the fate we're doomed to take.
The cruel words.
The harsh remarks.
I share your scars,
and broken hearts.
We join hands.
We stand tall.
Despite what people say, i'll have a daughter one day.
Maybe not by birth, but i’ll say one day.
She’ll have her mother’s eyes, of the color they’ll be.
What do I see?
A world filled with hatred.
I see a world were man can't be with man. They can't be seen holding hands.
I see a world with double standards because if you're a lesbian it's cool.
I never thought this would happen,
They would say, "It doesn't exist,"
I knew they were full of it, after our first kiss.
From that moment on, I knew Love could be,
I never thought this would happen to me.
Once I was hurt,
Once I was shattered,
Once I was young & knew no better.
Now that time has passed & I've had time to heal,
The love she has shown me has never been so real..
(For Christina)
You'll forever by a fixture,In my paradoxical paradise,Dancing across my brain,Like a pantomimical parasite.
A poem by Alan Turing…
Title: Who is Worthy?
Who can dictate whether or not an individual is worthy?
Ignorant individuals view others based merely on their own journey.
Since the dawn of time, critisizm, judgment, and alienation has been happening. Racism and hate has been spread.
With our fingers intertwined,our fate that forever binds,you are this love of mine.Bear in mind,though our hearts may not be combined,I will never leave you behind.In another state of mind,
I chose to be spat on in public.I chose to be called names.Fag. Dyke. Sinner. Abomination. Devil worshiper.Mistake.I chose to be hated by the ones I loved.I chose to be hated by the ones I trusted.
Why does
looking at her
inspire this
feeling
in my mind
between my thighs
that i can't control
She woke me softly
Lips brushing my skin
Hands beginning to explore
The sun lighting the room gold
The piano hovers above and around me
The soft lilting music drifts into class
the notes hang heavy and the sound drowns me
out as the noise level shatters glass
Call me crazy to admit my past affiliations.
Call me insane to pursue my aspirations.
Shall I lose my sanity to issues of nonsence and dislocated tangents
As I search for everlasting fullfillment?
It's a sinful inferno that blazes higher and higher,
it takes a toll on my heart,
it nearly tears me apart.
People see angel wings,
I only see other things
like acid laced lips and,
When I look into the mirror I see me. I don't see 6 colors or 6 women, just 6 of me. But then I realize what you see in me. You've colored me a rainbow and that blinds you from the real me.
The first time I admitted it was over text
I knew I was about to make my life a mess
"It gets better" was the chant I held on to
the only way I could face that girl in school
I've searched my life’s peaks and hearts disappointments for gold, for money, power, fame. Drained, I can only see myself, in you.
Many are against what makes me me.
Usually a pair of converse with cargo pants.
A random hoodie that covers this head
That holds these pretty cheap shades.
The way I talk,
How my voice projects.
Who I love should not define who
I am as a person.Why can you love her,
butI can’t?What evolutionary methods refuse to releaseme from this cycle.Where can I go for my rights
should not be a question.
Prop 8
You're so full of hate
You f*cked up a state
And forced us to wait
As bait for the courts
You seemed easy to kill
But not until bigots got their way
Trying to "Pray away the gay"
You ask why I write.
I ask why do you care?
It’s because words can affright,
and make people stare.
Words give me power,
and other people hope.
Segregation reformed by lips laced with loquacious words,
Promoting the definition of separated girls and segregated worlds.Diffusing through hierarchical halls, paneled with the predecessors of freedom;
June 26, 2013
A date that changed everyone's lives but mine
Because amongst this hurricane of excitement and acceptance
My ship is stuck in port.
My anchor weighs heavy with fear and denial
The pen, oh the pen, you are mightier than the sword
Words, they say, can never hurt,
I don't think they've ever been betrayed.
Just a few words, just a couple sentences,
That's all it takes to ruin a life.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter,
In my heart, it is a simple matter.
Or soul, the brain, the mind;
Whichever you believe does the chatter.
We paint it in red, purple, white,
Some even coat it in blue
we didn’t start off as the hours on the phone type.
both of us were completely comfortable in our own awkward silence.
time was spent doing nothing most days.
but it became something when beside her.
she had a stern brow.
i could tell that the present was troubling her
that she was stuck inside of her mind
and there was no breaking free for now
she was unapproachable
I smile outwardly to you because I don't need your pity,
You see me as a happy, bubbly, and sparkling young woman.
Did you ever realize that beyond my smile my eyes are filled with stories I'll never say with my lips?
They lock you up
They take pieces of you
Inch by inch
Try to force you
Into silence
Into willful captivity
Caged birds cannot fly
But they can still sing
Do not let your song be silenced
when the rain is falling
and the night is heavy
and the blankets arent enough to keep you warm
ill pull you closer
and hug you tighter and
whisper words to remind you
I am forever yours
If I were one for praying,
If I were to supplicate the gods,
I would ask them to deliver me to you
So that I may be humbled in the presence
Of a beauty akin to that of the divine.
I promise I love you this is not a mindless behavior cuz my mind been made up even before we made love before our lips even touched the day we matched eyes my world was turned up for the best thing that could ever come my way your smile always bri
I have a voice;
Strong and loud.
Can make people listen,
People in the crowd.
I know right from wrong;
I'm not sitting in a cloud.
I'll scream till you hear me;
Scream really loud!
Sometimes certain situations are just so hard to deal with, other situations are easy, but the hard ones teach you a lesson in life, weather its for the worst or the better.
Love blossoming like the red rose,
wrapping me up for you like the tieing of bows.
Kisses are gifts that presents hold,
asking to be with you would be a fleet so bold.
Chocolate is said to bring out euphoric love,
I often look to the yellow lillies in the garden on campus
Friends pass me and time shifts
Is it not the success that people want?
Or perhaps it's the driven motive in which we attempt to strive
Unjust it truly is,
Dear Mom
Remember that you love me
And please don't try to change me
But I have something to say
That may shift
How you see
It's hate versus love everyday,
the slow decay
of the human race,
racing to save, the bit of humanity that's left,
right from the start
they said it was wrong
to be gay.
I like this guy, I like him a lot
in fact he already holds a place in my heart.
I wonder and ponder what he thinks of me
in the end it is me he doesn’t see.
So I wait by the shore
hoping someday he'd want more.
I look back at the few years in my life and I imagine what it would have been like to NOT have gone through what I did to become the person I am today.
Mistreated.
Abused.
Living in confusion?
I know who I like.
She, her. She, her.
Keeping to myself.
I am judged by the judged,
I am strangled by religion.
Beat me up and break me down.
I am still alive.
I am a girl who loves a girl
And believes in the Bible too
There’s a fight in my head
It’s not a fight to the death
It’s a fight to realize who
Knows what it means to love.
Man shall not lay with man
I press my ear to the earth
And hear the laughter
From that sunny day we spent
Sitting against the bricks
While you attempted to unleash
Your inner artist
Shadows run deep throughout my soul like interstates.
They converge into the darkness that creates me.
The one thing that's really funny is....
That the creator of my creators were created by you.
Love is love
“Gender doesn’t define love.”
Why is it people judge what they don’t understand?
Homo, faggot, dyke, queer!
Out of all the pain we mostly hold in fear.
We endure and we take all we can.
I rather be called handsome than beautiful
I rather be called he than she
And i rather you say his than hers
Not miss but sir
you don't know how it feels
How it feels to feel this hurt
There are people under the steeple
Who can’t keep their eyes off the peep-hole.
Why are their minds so weak and feeble?
It’s misunderstood, so deem it evil.
Mr. Man sits in Congress so regal,
I want to be the smile that spreads across your face.
I want to be the one that no one can replace.
I want to be your dreams when your sleeping alone at night.
It doesn't matter if they think it's wrong or right.
They scorn us, love,
we're outlaws on the run,
looking for a place to call home,
where we are accepted.
Can it be, we will always be rejected?
Just because we are different from the others?
